It's pouring with rain and I can hear the wattle birds fighting in the banksia from where I lay in my uncle's caravan, parked in my parents driveway where I'll be staying a couple of months. It's good to be home, despite the circumstances.
I nearly had meltdown before getting on the plane. Jesus Heathrow is busy. I couldn't find space to breath. By the time I was at the gate contemplating the journey ahead, I was almost hyperventilating, and certainly crying. Jamie assured me I would be home before long, and besides, the plane was probably full of nice Australians. He was right. We left Heathrow two hours after boarding due to storm patterns over Europe, and I met a lot of Aussies in that time, who were all super friendly, because that's who we are.
Damn it's cold at home!
I also blagged a better seat. I was in a window seat with two people next to me which was freaking me out - I need to get up and stretch often, and I'd have to climb over them w lot in 14 hours! Spying a row of three seats right at the back, I took advantage of my tears and told the steward I had a bladder infection and needed to use the toilet often so could I have that aisle seat? I ended up with three seats to stretch out to sleep so it wasn't a bad flight after all. I watched Poor Things (brilliant!) and listened to a podcast on breathing.
Delayed for six hours in Singapore, I found a quiet corner of the airport and curled up behind a planter for a sleep and read an entire book.
My son picked me up from the airport and drove me the hour and a half home to my parents house. Honestly, it was so good to be home. Both were really happy to see me, and more than happy for me to stay until my tennants leave in two months time. My parents house is beautiful. I had the best shower I had since leaving Australia five months back and already after a few days feel so much better for Mums cooking.
I have eaten porridge and strawberries, muesli and yogurt, beautiful potato topped lentil casserole, spicy coconut root vegetable soup, platters of homemade sourdough with goats cheese, pickles, vegetables. She always puts a nutritional meal on the table and I'm so grateful to her.
I am finding it a little difficult to write about coming home, as it's bittersweet - I'm home because of Dads dying. I'm sure I'll write more as I go, because as us long term Hivers know, writing can be a kind of catharsis.
With Love,
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You look like you're ready to watch an outdoor hockey game! What kind of temperatures are you talking about?
Nice to see you safely returned home after such a long journey.
I thought she was on the West Coast of Vancouver Island in all that gear!
This mornings walk was 8 degrees which is probably warm for you guys!
8c may not be cold enough for a scarf up here in the Great White North, but it does make a wonderful fashion statement. ;)
Love me a scarf.
Welcome home. I know it will be difficult. I wish you many moments of the deepest love there is. xo
thanks gorgeous x
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I'm glad you finally made it back. Your mum's food will go a long way in your recovery from the trip and in support of your support for your dad. I found I had stopped blogging at all for 2 months just before my husband died and for 6 weeks after.
Some one suggested keeping a journal and that's where it all went. Mine was handwritten. I still write in it every so often...
I'm glad you had some catharsis with your journal. I remember you going missing and understanding exactly why. It feels pointless and self indulgent to write about grief. It's a very private thing.
Yes, and everyone handles it differently. There was so much anger and sadness and grief and such to vent and those around me could only stand so much. So it all went into the journal.
Moms are like this most often, and I am sure, you will have some nice time ahead. I know, its painful to feel the absence of Dad, but then time will settle everything slowly.
Yes, and I'll join all the millions of people who have also lost parents. It'll take some getting used to, but it's the way it goes.
Breathe deep sweet thing. Squeeze every last moment out with your dad. Precious time. Thinking of you and sending you so much love xx
Precious time indeed, though he did tell me off for walking barefoot on the kitchen tiles with damp feet the other day haha...
aw 😍Enjoy those tellings off too! xx
♥️ good heart that you are. I'm glad you're home safely. Wishing you plenty of good moments with your folks with all my heart, my dear.
PS: that looks mouth-watering, not gonna lie.
PPS: I cried the first (and only) time I flew outta Heathrow. Hectic madhouse.
Oh gosh I'm not the only one - I know you love London but jesssssus how mental is Heathrow!!!
♥️
Sending you a huge hug beautiful. You are exactly where you need to be. xxxx