It all looked different. His childhood home, he never should have let them sell it. He watched from across the street as the new family, obviously American, who occupied his home now moved around it. He remembered how much he’d had to endure at the orphanage for being kicked out from his foster home. He never seemed to hit the three months mark with any of them. How could he? He was a headstrong child and always seemed to attract the worst kind of people. This was why he wondered how he had attracted her…
His eyes swept across the lawn and onto the next house. It was still as he remembered. An old man he recognized as her Uncle, lounged in the grandpa chair on the porch, a newspaper in hand. He hadn’t seen one of those in so long. He told himself that he was still staring because of nostalgia, not because he hoped that she was still there three years later. He wasn’t hoping to get a glimpse of her.
Vanessa.
Auburn hair and greyish blue eyes flashed in his memory. She was the most exquisite thing he had seen in all his years of life. Her skin was almost translucent when he first saw her, pale beyond reason but grew darker the longer she stayed. She loved to walk. He loved to walk with her.
His chest constricted at the memories. What was once happy was now tainted with his betrayal. He never stopped thinking about her. Never could. He tried but somehow, she always managed to slip through the cracks. Ji-soo, his ex-fiancée, was a good natured woman, but she refused to settle for crumbs. He wouldn’t have let her either. If she hadn’t called off the engagement, he would have at some point. He really thought he could make it work, but he’d underestimated the power that petite woman had over him. How much of her had wriggled its way into his blood.
After what seemed like eternity, he got into his car and drove off, a new destination in mind.
The Coffee shop still looked the same save for a few additions. Like the staff and the decor. This was where he saw her the first time. He had been sitting at his usual spot, a corner exposed to the eye but distanced quite enough to provide the privacy he always craved. Coming back, he was somewhat grateful then that his fan base hadn’t spread to this part of the world. But now, he couldn’t be too sure. His base ball hat placed carefully on his head accompanied by a face mask. He had always been tall. Taller than the most kids his age and then he was scouted by his agent and began a new diet and workout program, he became bigger too. He understood that he commanded attention wherever he went. Just like now. He played a fool but he was very much aware.
Taking a seat in the empty space, he signaled and made his order, detaching the mask from his face, keeping his head down. The delicious aroma of coffee infused the air, tingling his nose and brain with more memories.
She had walked in looking a little lost, she clutched her purse like it was her life line. Her hair was a curtain preventing him from getting a good look at her. But then she walked to the table in front of him and he got to see her face. She was breathtaking. Even from the distance, he spotted tiny freckles. Even with her head down, dressed in blue jeans and a cashmere sweater, he wanted nothing more than to hide her loveliness from the rest of the world.
He was jarred from his thoughts when his order arrived. The strong aroma of dark beans filled his nostrils. His eyes combed the building as he sipped, even though he knew it was not probable, he held hope of the maybe.
Maybe she would walk in. Maybe he would get to see her even just from far away. By his third cup, he knew there was no chance of that happening. He had lost all contact with her. Choosing his career over what could possibly the only chance he had at love. His jaw ticked with frustration, regret clamping around him like a barbwire; gutting. Dropping a hundred dollar bill, way more than what his drinks were worth, he left. His heart grew heavier with each step. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe she had moved on. What was he hoping for? That she waited for him? Why? What right did he have to think that she would wait for him? He never even said goodbye.
He took his head to the sky, inhaling deeply to lessen the fist that constricted around his heart. He had been so stupid. He had to find her. One way or another. He had to go back. He bounded to his car, resolve steeled and made a U-turn. He was going to talk with her Uncle.
The old man had left the porch by the time he arrived which prompted him to ring the doorbell. The man was stout and round, slouched slightly and greyed to the roots of his hair. He didn’t remember him being this way. He had aged a lot. The man’s eyes were dark blue, unlike his niece.
“Yes.” He said, as he opened the door.
“Good day to you sir. I’m Tae. A friend of your niece.” Tae told him with an outstretched hand, tucking his other hand beneath it.
Uncle’s brows hit the roof of his head, surprise slightly etched over the rigid lines of wrinkles that had formed on his face.
“Oh. Good day,” he took Tae’s hand, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I left the country a few years back. I had some emergency to deal with and unfortunately lost contact with your niece, Vanessa. I didn’t think it would take me three years to get back. Is there a way I could get in touch with her?”
“Oh dear. That must have been quite the situation. Please. Come in.” The man said and shifted for Tae to make his way inside. Tae smiled, bowing slightly at the hospitality and made his way in. He moved to take off his shoes but stopped at the voice of Uncle,
“What are you doing? Please. Keep those on. No need for that.” Uncle gave a belly laugh. Tae laughed too. He forgot.
Stepping into her former home felt like touching a tangible piece of their past, a connection that warmed his heart. It beat wildly in his chest when he caught a picture frame of her with her Uncle, in a graduation gown. A smile crept on his face before he could stop it.
“A miracle she is.” Uncle said, breaking Tae from his reverie.
“Pardon?”
Uncle pointed to the frame as he sat down on the single couch facing the settee in the living room. Uncle gestured for Tae to sit, which he obeyed.
“She’s a miracle. Her parents tried for years and finally got her ten years into the marriage. My brother, that mule, would not consider other options. Just like he would not accept that she was her own person.”
Tae listened in rapt attention, eyes never straying from the girl whose smile lit up his world.
“Where can I find her?”
“Oh. She comes by every week. To see me. Ever since her parents disowned her…”
That had Tae’s attention even if he hoped to have misheard.
“What? Why?”
“I just told you. My brother is an ass. It’s his way or none other. Tell me my boy. How long were you two friends?”
“A couple of months. I used to drive her around.”
“Ah.” Uncle said, nodding his head contemplatively.
“When would she be coming?”
“Tomorrow, if something doesn’t happen at work.”
“What does she do now?”
“She runs a restaurant. A few miles uptown where the big fish are.” Uncle chuckled deeply, his eyes gleaming with pride.
“I’m honestly glad she finally stood up to them. She would have been stuck being miserable otherwise.” Uncle continued and Tae nodded in agreement.
“I’ll be here tomorrow. If you please, don’t let her know I came if she gets here before I do. She would likely run.” Tae said, an image of the sweet girl he knew flashing before him again.
“Not likely. Vanessa has grown into a fine young woman. Not afraid to voice her mind. Well, I will leave you to find out.”
Tae’s lips thinned into a fine line as he mulled over what Uncle had told him. He knew the chances that she may reject him before she even heard him speak were a thousand. But what would she be listening to? How he decided to hurt her with his immature actions or how she didn’t matter compared to his career?
Now seated in his car, Tae was at a loss. He hoped for the best but he expected the worst, yet the thought that she might not even give him the time of day never seemed to deter him.
He got there before noon, waiting patiently in his car. His hands drummed silently on the steering wheel and his eyes looked forward to seeing her. Not long after, a red Camaro pulled up to the house. The house he’d been yesterday. His heart sank. Out of fear or excitement, he couldn’t tell. It felt like eternity before she stepped out. He would recognize her anyway no matter what she wore. Right now, she was dressed in a floral-print sundress. Her skin darker than he remembered. She walked towards the house, hair bouncing with her steps, carrying two baskets full of what he assumed to be groceries. She didn’t ring the bell. She just walked right in.
Tae slumped into his seat, dread suddenly filling him despite his determination earlier. He knew he’d made a blunder and that she would likely have his head, but his need for her outweighed all other considerations. With a final breath, he stepped out of his car not before reaching for the rose bouquet in the passenger seat. With small but purposeful steps, he made his way to their door and rang the bell.
He heard her laughter before he saw her. She’d swung the door open, blueish gray eyes squared on him and the smile disappeared. He smiled, or he tried to but she’d glared at him and then banged the door in his face. He expected that. Taking a deep breath, he rang the bell again. It took quite a while, but after many persistent attempts, she came out again, shoving him further away by stepping closer in what she must have thought was a menacing move. He humoured her, stepping back.
“What?”
“You look radiant, Vanessa.”
If looks could kill, he’d be dead. Her eyes darkened the more she looked at him and he swallowed at the waves of anger that rolled off her stiff posture. He tried to speak but then she cut him off.
“Is it over with your fiancée? You came looking for a rebound?”
His eyes widened slightly. She knew. Of course she knew. The whole world knew.
“Vanessa…”
“Don’t you dare. I don’t care what you have to say. Whatever you need to say, save it for the dogs. I want you off my property this instant. And never show your face to me again.”
She turned to leave, twisting the door knob open and his body reacted before he could think. He grabbed her arm and she whipped back so fast, her palm meeting his cheek with a force he never thought her capable of.
“Vanessa! That’s enough!” He heard Uncle boom from inside. He turned back to look at her and he didn’t miss the hurt in her eyes, the tears. He was the cause. All over again, he felt shame.
“Va-”
She walked off and inside, brushing slightly against her uncle who gave him a look of resignation.
“Look, I don’t know what happened with you two, but it’s clear you would need to give her some space and time. You can try winning her over when she’s accepted your presence.”
Tae nodded, dejection written all over his face.
“Could you please give this to her?” He asked, stretching the bouquet to Uncle who received it with a solemn nod.
“Thank you.” With that said, Tae walked off and back to his car. The side of his cheek where she slapped him still stung, but the pain was nothing compared to that which slithered its way around his chest. Could he have lost her forever?
Read Vanessa Here
Lead image generated on Gemini.
While reading this, Tae from BTS was the only face I was imagining :)
Lmao!!! Oh wow. I was seeing someone else while reading though... lol. Thank you for reading.