Yes, that are good examples you gave. Here is another one:
Let's say that you love your mother.
Then she says or does something that you deeply detest. In those moments you do not feel tenderness and affection towards her but anger (disappointment, you name it).
The tender is the bond, the anger is the tie, yes. Both things happen, within the broad spectrum of acceptance and rejection. Love as an always lasting feeling in general is there, maybe that is what you mean by "detached"? But in particular it's not.
I have just more experience in man-woman-relationships since I am older ;)
Yes, I completely agree with you here.
What I mean by "detached" (maybe that was not the best word either), is that you feel good loving and don't need anything else. Whatever other desire arise like to control, etc., it's not out of love but out of another feelings. But, as we love that person, we think every desire we have about it, it is out of love.
But again, you have more experience than me, I agree on that.