"...for they are the HashKings!"
With an excited exclamation, the old wizard ends the tale. Eyes gleaming with excitement and the light of the bonfire, a wide smile of delight while skimming through the not so captive juvenile audience.
"Oof, that is cringe and lame" a young shaggy vented. "Grey Beard, I know you love telling those kind of stories but really? Ending it with "for they are the HashKings"... I don't know... Sounds dumb dumb.
The other kids giggled at the commentary and Grey Beard Maggie sighed shaking her head while still smiling. She is one of the oldest inhabitants of this plane and know how kids can be immature and none the wiser. Caressing her luscious beard without changing her upbeat mood, she asks the cubs:
"Well, if the story is so "dumb dumb" as you said, how would your version be? I'm used to tell the legends this way but the idea of being told a tale seems delightful and a nice change of pace!"
She gets comfier on her big old chair and lit a blunt, using her old hands to hide the mischievous grimace that the prospect of seeing the kids try to tell a story caused her.
"Humm..." The same defying Shaggy murmurs, trying hard to make the cogs in his brain turn. "First thing I would change is that part about the planet being round, everybody knows it's flat, like a pizza!"
For a second even the fire seemed to go mute and wide-eyed from the insane observation, Gray Beard Maggie opens her mouth to correct the kid but before she can pronounce a single word, Lil'Shaggy starts again.
"At least that's what Timmy Openmind told me, and he has the biggest brain of all the zombies so he must be right. Also, your story has lots of holes! You said there was a veil separating dimensions and now it's broken, so how is it that everyone looks exactly like mom and dad but all the zombies are different from us in appearance and name?? AND WHY EVERYONE HAS THE SAME NAME!!!??! It gets so confusing when mom is calling one of us to help her at the field.."
Gray Beard was taken aback by the quick round of questions shot her way, but that is something she was more than used to deal with. There was a moment where children would always get dissatisfied with the abridged version of the tale.
"It's not holes on the story child, it's just some missing parts that I prefer to tell later to make it easier to digest"
"BUT MISSING PARTS OF A STORY ARE HOLES!!" Lil'Shaggy screamed flustered.
"Now, now... No reason to raise your voice young man. I guess you are old enough to learn a little more about this strange but cozy world we call home."
With a deep breath she got a lung full of smoke and puffed it over the flames, the fire made dancing shadows in the smoke, almost like they were building the scenario for the explanations Gray Beard was about to give.
"You must first understand that this world is only one of the infinity worlds in the multiverse. You must also understand that this is a very special place for it can connect with a multitude of places, something few other worlds can do. That's why we call our home the Weed Nexus."
"We aren't the first inhabitants of here either, long ago this world had only one shaggy and millions of different people. When the veil broke down and chaos destroyed this realm most inhabitants sadly perished and the few that survived were more dead than alive, but the first shaggy discovered that weed could help the zombies recover part of their mind and humanity."
The kids were unblinking taking in every word Gray Beard was giving them, for the first time in a good while they were listening to a new story!
"That solved the problem of the zombie apocalypse but there was still the problem of the violent and dangerous invaders, the ones you see your parents, robots and zombie friends fighting daily."
"Luckily, not all invaders and higher beings were bent on conquest and many helped the people of this plane."
Gray Beard threw the finished blunt in the fire and got a new one from inside her beard, smoking it slowly to get the vibe going while she continues.
"Yet, the biggest help Shaggy received was from himself. Us Shaggies have a immense affinity to weed and it is uncountable times more effective on us, which ends up making other dimension Shaggies dropping here during their pursuit for stronger highs.
It doesn't even matter if a Shaggy's original dimension still has the veil or not, at some moment they get so high that their minds momentarily transcend and they end up slipping through a tear in the veil and landing here."
"Wait..." A Maggie slightly older than the other kids interrupted. "So that means we are all the same person!?!" The fear in her eyes spread like an infection to the other kids as soon as they comprehended what that affirmation implied.
Gray Beard was laughing while distributing paper bags to the hyperventilating kids. "And that's why we don't tell you everything until you are a little older, hehe."
"Yes, we indeed are different versions of the same "person" but it isn't as complicated as it seems, I like to think of it as if we all are some really distant
cousins. This doesn't make any of you less unique and your own person than if we weren't practically clones"
This was too much for the kids. A few of them ran back home crying, a couple fainted but the older ones were really lost in thought. After a while the chidren all disbanded and Gray Beard was alone by the bonfire smoking and stargazing.
A Shaggy approaches the elder and sits near her offering his pipe to share some puffs.
"I suppose you told them a little more than they were ready to know by the reactions I heard earlier", the psychologist Shaggy sighed, takin the pipe back. "I don't know if I should feel glad, at least my office will be full of clients for a while.."
Gray Beard crackled, cleaning a tear of joy from the mischief made.
"Don't be so dramatic Shaggymund Freud, they have to learn this sooner or later and this isn't even as bad as some kinks some Shaggies have..."
"... You will really be busy at your office after they learn this is all a computer simulation".
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed the story.
For my entry in this contest I wanted to use the same world building lore I had already made but it was against the rules so I created a hook to the other story with this one and expanded the lore further.
See you next time and don't forget to water your pizza trees!
!1UP wow that's cool, this story was fucked up! Congratulations on your creativity!!!
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Não esperava menos desse ser recheado de criatividade! Parabéns pela história, você é foda!
Great story!
"Wait..." A Maggie slightly older than the other kids interrupted. "So that means we are all the same person!?!" That was a great hook!
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Nice story! :)
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I really like the idea of starting a story with the end of another story! Even if it's a continuation from another piece, it's a neat device IMO.
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Yay! 🤗
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Hahaha, this one reminds me of my good friend when we talk on a daily basis.
I like the story, entertaining.
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