It's a very important question that can help parents make kids calm, happy and confident. Many kids can't take their own fails, and every time when they lose, they feel angry, upset or lost and unhappy. It's a real tragedu for them if they can't take it right, and it's parents' task to teach them do it.
I faced this problem by myself when I saw each game my son lost was an awful game for him, and he stopped playing it. He was angry and upset, and didn't want to try once again. I understood it could be a problem in future, and I must rule the situation to the right direction.
Simple "don't worry, it's ok!" did NOT work at all.
I adore one psychologist who always gives really great advice for parents, and I found some tips from him.
Now I share them here for all Hive parents;)
So, first of all a skill to lose leads to a skill to win.
A fail and a victory - what can be common between them?
But in fact, if a kid can't lose, he stops trying and it means he never will win in this very sphere. So fails are not less important than actually victories!
Fails are a part of the victory.
Moreover, it's very common HOW to call "fails". If we say "you lose", it can be accepted much worse, than words "it's not you luck", "not the best experience, but it's experience in any case!".
There is a good example of Edison and his experiments with an incandescent lamp. He failed more than 700 times before he invented it!
And when he succeeded, he was asked: "Why didn't you give up after so many fails?"
He replied: "Fails? No! It was just many tries that showed those variants did not work."
It's brilliant, isn't it?
So it's a nice example how we can explain our kids their fails. Just the way you had to know whether it would work or not. If not - ok, let's go on!
So all parents should do is to give RIGHT explanation of kids' fails and just LET THEM LOSE.
We mustn't avoid them of fails not to make them be upset.
Negative experience is experince, and it's brilliant in any case.
And actually in many cases a loser who takes his fails RIGHT is in a better position than a winner. He still has motivation, he has bad experience and a fail that has made him stronger, and he has double power now to reach even more than he could have reached if he got the victory at once.
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I think what's important is they (and Us too) tried their best and learned something from the experience and apply that learning the next time.
Thats actually really good tips. I'll have to give this ago. Lil Miss is always wanting to win and doesn't quite grasp the losing side of things
Very good article and I totally agree that it is difficult for children to accept defeat or in this case to lose, as we have seen in the case of your boys but also in most of them. Even today I believe that video games have made children more competitive and their desire to win is always greater but in real life sometimes you lose and sometimes you win. However, when losing seen from the positive side it is the gain of a May experience that will have a meaning in our life.