[Video] World of Tanks Blitz: Autistic War Screech

It’s no secret I love all weapons. I have used almost every type of modern weapon you have ever heard of a few that some of you probably didn’t even know exist.

I have never gotten the opportunity to play with a tank but LUCKY ME there is a business nearby that lets you pay to play with a wide variety of heavy metal monstrosities, APCs included.

Until the day comes where they are operating under normal conditions I will have to settle for
World of Tanks Blitz.

What is that, you ask? Only the best fucking mobile game ever made! Ever had the urge to engage in 7 vs 7 tank battles with random strangers? Me too!

Tonight I managed to squeeze in a few matches (with my iPhone capturing the screen, of course) on my breaks at work.

The first few battles were, ummm, don’t ask. But lucky for you, I deleted those videos and did better in the subsequent matches.

In the first video I take the long route all the way around the map to flank while the enemy is engaging the heavies and once they take the bait I play hard to get and hope my buddies survived and come take him out. (They did.)

The second video I was a little more ballsy because I had speed and a quick reload to my advantage and waited for the enemy to present a distracted and weak target and took them by surprise. And, coincidentally, like a chihuahua with rabies, I attacked the fat slow kid and bit a few old ladies on my way there. You can almost hear my war screeches over the shots fired directly over the top of my tiny ass tank. (He didn’t have the traverse to fire low enough to finish me off.) In the end I get taken out almost as easily as I smacked down Goliath and his grandmother.

And the last video, well, that needs no explanation. I score 5 kills and only fail to get my 6th because raw aggression goes both ways.

If you have a newer smartphone (Android or iOS) you can join in the action for FREE. There of course are premium tanks, but you can earn those as well by watching ads. It does take some time to advance. I finally got my first Tier VII tank two weeks ago after playing a few times a week for almost two years.

Anyone looking for a buddy to platoon with is welcome to come find me in the North America server under the name takibicho. If you suck I will push you out into enemy fire and use your burning wreck for cover.