My dear Sis, so touching post..
I wanna hug you and give all my warmth now!
I do understand your feelings.
It's great you managed to step over your fears and look into your past memories and pain. it's like you've closed them forever and move on stronger and happier.
Thank you my love, I do not know if I have closed them forever, because a part of there is still there in my thoughts and I am living with it, not that it's harassing me but it constantly reminds me of from where I have come