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A homeless man touched my heart
About two weeks ago I was moved by something that happened in front of me observing a homeless man, I started writing this post that evening after I was so touched by this man that I could not stop crying for a while because I feel for him. Lately I see many of these things that can get me teared up and that won't leave my thoughts for the next hours, because I feel sorry that I can't help all these people that need help. Budapest has many homeless people and you can't walk through one street without seeing some of them. It's sad to see, I personally still find it hard to let go when I see another person that isn't drunk or on drugs and just trying to survive. Because I find it important that people realize these people are still human beings, I had the urge to write another post about homelessness, and maybe because I included my personal experience in the post, someone will hopefully remember to smile when they pass by another homeless person from now on.
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Homelessness is a topic that hits me hard from time to time
Not only because I feel for those on the streets, but also because I've been one of those people on the streets in Holland. After my boyfriend and me got homeless in Holland, the first years after we slowly climbed back on our feet I had a hard time writing about this. But then my boyfriend discovered Steemit, and I joined. It took me another six months before I started being active on Steemit, and I was confident enough to share our story. The first part received little response, but the follow-up post got hit by @curie. Let me explain that I had no clue about who those accounts were that upvoted me. Anyway, the post was called How to get back your inner strength, part 2 of my story and was about homelessness. So it's something that may be hitting me hard sometimes because I understand how it feels when people don't treat you like an actual human being anymore. When your friends start ignoring you because they don't know how to deal with the situation and therefore choose the easy option: to stay away from you. When people look at you like you're nothing anymore. And those things I've experienced while we didn't even look like a bunch of homeless people, no we looked clean and dressed like any other person. Not dirty at all.
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The stigma of homelessness is that it's the homeless person's own fault
The word on the streets here in Budapest is, that when a homeless person in Budapest is not showered it's his own fault, or choice as there are places where they can shower or sleep, maybe even eat or earn some money. But I do not believe it's that easy personally. People also told us, that in Holland it's not possible to not be accepted at a homeless shelter, especially not while being pregnant! While we've been there (twice!!!) and both times they told us we had a six month waiting list in front of us. People tend to believe that the system is helping those in need, while it actually means most of the times that the help you will actually get, is because you found it yourself. In our case I can say that I was the one that found solutions for us, not those so called helping agencies run by governments. So therefore I don't just believe that those people have the option to shower/eat/sleep somewhere. I do believe that there may be certain rules like: no drinking or using drugs, which sound perfectly legit to me. But let's not forget that not every man or woman you see lying on the street is a drunk or drug addict! Society likes to make you think this is the truth, and it actually makes me sick to my stomach that many people will judge you as you are, while they know absolutely nothing about you...
I wonder if they'd like being judged by strangers, only having information that they heard someone say, and may be or not be true? How will most people react when this is happening to them daily, when hundreds of strangers judge them without having first hand information about them?
Sevenheads on Pixabay
There's an old homeless man I see quite often
I want to share with you what happened a few weeks ago, and made me cry afterwards because I feel for that man. One of the people that I see quite often grabbing in the garbage containers in our street is an old man. The man is probably round his 70s, that alone makes me feel for him. Because you don't want to think about the fact that you need to spend your last years of your life on the streets begging for money, searching food in garbage containers and then lying down on a hard bench while your back is probably aching a lot. I don't know his story, I would love to find out though.. maybe I will have an opportunity one day to let someone translate for me, because I would love to hear his story. Anyway most of the times when I see this man passing by, I either have no cash on me, or I am rushing somewhere etc.. Every single time that happens I feel bad when I come back home again, because I didn't help him at that moment. It actually makes me think about the man sometimes for hours after I come home, because of him searching through the garbage containers.. Those things get to me, when he looks at me I smile though, and I tell my two year old to smile too.
Because a smile can lighten up a person's day, while most people ignore them or pretend like they're not human anymore. That's really what happens most of the times, people look down on them, like they're not worthy anymore. That hurts me, I know how that feels, and when society gives up on you that hurts! Especially when you know you would be able to do so much in your life when someone would just give you a helping hand or opportunity.
I am still not sure why he needed this harder than food
Where most people on the streets have a lack of hygiene which can bring an awful smell from down the whole street (especially with higher temperatures) this man looked a bit dirty, with long nails but did not smell at all. He didn't smell of alcohol like most of them do, and he didn't smell like he had not been showering for a while. So I assume he is still trying to take care of himself where he can or has the opportunity. For me that's a big plus when I consider in helping someone, because I don't want to give money to a drug addict or an alcoholic, I'd rather help a person that will buy food or anything else he needs at that moment. Guess what this man was trying to buy at the 24 hour shop?
He was asking for the price of batteries, I can only tell what the body language and actions told me that was happening, as I understand not much of the Hungarian language.. So when I first saw that I wondered what he would need a battery for (it first looked like he wanted to buy one). Then the counting of the coins continued, and they were a bit annoyed behind the cashier desk that he needed one or maybe then two but he was counting the money and didn't seem to have enough. When I was about to tell the cashier that I would pay for them, the guy in front of him gave coins to the cashier, so that was covered. Then he seemed to need two, he gave her all the coins he had, and was still short, so that guy immediately asked her how much the old man was short on money and paid for it. This action of that young guy already made me proud and emotional. Proud because I still see the good in people willing to help an old man, and emotional for the same reason actually.
Shauking on Pixabay
I realized I had cash on me this time
I usually don't have cash on me, but this time I realized I had a bill of 500 Hungarian Forints on me, which is a little less than 2 euro. So we paid what we needed to pay at the cashier desk and at that time I already mentioned a few times to my boyfriend if I shouldn't have given him that money. Once outside I saw him just passing our home, and I started running to catch up with him. I tapped him on the shoulder, and the man turned around. As I have no way to communicate in his language, the only thing I could do was smile and hand him the money that I already was holding in my hand. That moment that he turned around and looked at me, I will probably never forget. This man first looked surprised, and immediately this look was turned into gratitude. His eyes were sparkling, and this man was so thankful with this one bill that wasn't even worth 2 euro at the moment. I smiled back at him, and got back to my boyfriend and our daughter who were standing there with the groceries. I wish I could have done more for him, but I do know that he can buy some food for this little money. If those batteries were that important to him, that he prefered buying those instead of food, it must be for a good reason. The only thing we can think of is that he needed them to use a flashlight at night. The gratitude in this man's eyes, for just a little gesture I could do at that moment got me to tears. I didn't see this man anymore after that evening, and I must admit that I now wonder if he's ok. Strange how these things can work in your mind right? He's a stranger, and still I hope he's doing ok.
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Please never look down on a homeless person when you see one
You must know that because of the things happening to us in Holland, I sort of had lost faith in all humanity for a few years, and maybe that's why I get more emotional when I experience these things first hand, who knows. I am not ashamed of it though, it means I have empathy and I will never look down on a person that has become homeless.
I know that it's not possible to help everyone you see that needs help, I have trouble accepting this myself so I totally understand these feelings. But not being able to help them, is not a reason to ignore them, and make them feel like they're air or non-existent, does it? I mean why would we want to give them that extra feeling of then being a failure, while half of society already does that for us? Why do the people that still have empathy for them need to lower themselves to that level? We don't! So please don't do that, have a look at the picture shown above this paragraph. Take a moment to read the message there.
Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up
I think this says it all, if you are willing to help but can't help, but also when you're just not willing to help for whatever reason you may have. I won't judge you for this either, it's your choice if you can or will do something for another human being in need. But please do not treat them like they're worth nothing anymore, they are still human beings, that once had lives that looked brighter than they do now. Please realize homelessness is something that can happen to anyone, even you! You may read this and think this will never ever happen to me, but you don't know who is going to make your life hard in the future, even when you're a good person! I don't consider us bad persons either, but still we got targeted by bad people and lost everything. It's not because of all those nasty looks we received combined with all the horrible words people used against us, that we are now back on our feet! This is only because we kept believing in each other, but can you imagine where we would be now if we didn't have each other all these years? And there was not one soul in the universe left that kept trying to make us feel good from time to time?
It doesn't always have to end on the streets
My boyfriend and me are the living proof of that! We both were spit out by society when we reached homelessness, and now we have managed to build up our lives again, and settled down in another country. We were considered outcasts too, most friends (with a few exceptions) didn't even answer our calls anymore, afraid we would ask them to help us or give us a place to stay that night. But we didn't, because we only seeked company for a few hours, to lighten up our day to have some nu positive energy to be able to continue the struggles we were facing. Let me confess that I'm writing this post with tears rolling down my cheeks because those things still hurt. And of course I am very aware of the fact that not every homeless person will be able to get back on their feet again, it's not true that every person can get back on their feet as long as they want it bad enough. You either need a helping hand or some good ideas that will give you goals to reach to slowly climb up, but if you're all on your own and constantly hungry or facing harsh weather conditions, you will probably not be able to reach your goals even though you're trying so hard.
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But I hope that people can be more kind to homeless people in the future, one smile or a small gesture (doesn't even have to be about giving them something) can give a person on the streets the positive vibe for that day, that may cause that person to see options instead of obstacles. You can be part of that change in their way of thinking, without ever knowing this.
I wish I could help every homeless person in Budapest
Unfortunately I can't help everyone, the small thing that I can do, I'm already doing. From that moment this happened a few weeks ago, I do usually have some coins on me though, just in case I see that man, or another that I think needs it a lot. Those coins are just chance to us, and we can miss them. In wintertime I started collecting clothes that were too small or we didn't need anymore, especially a lot of warm socks. And every time I had some items, I left them on the containers so the homeless people will find them. A pair of dry socks can be the reason they don't freeze that night after a lot of rain and temperature below zero afterwards. I will never throw away socks again, I guess. A while ago I learned that the homeless collect empty (beer) cans because they get a few forints per can when they bring them somewhere. So from that moment on we have decided to put empty cans in a plastic bag so when we have enough, we can give it to a homeless person to help them a bit. I know it's not much, but why throw them in the garbage if it can help a homeless person a little bit collecting some money? One day I hope to be in the position to make a significant change in their lives, to help some of these people get back on their feet. It's not the time yet, but I hope in a few years I can actually make a difference by providing them help. Until then, I will keep doing what I'm doing now, offer them little bits of help when the opportunity is there..
I hope that my post may have inspired you to do a little bit for those in need too, and in the end maybe at least another homeless person will not be going to sleep hungry tonight.
This post really moved me.
You have such a wonderful heart and I'm glad that you shared this experience with us today.
i totally agree with you ca-co, this was an amazing post by the amazing @anouk.nox, i can really see you heart, we really need more leaders like you here in all our communities....lov ya!
♡ thank you too @dj123 you both get me teared up now
Thanks @canadian-coconut that means a lot to me. It took me a while to finish the post though.. but I could not leave it unfinished.. It really gets to me, the homeless people and how many look at them like they're not worthy anymore .. They're still human beings ♡
Beautiful!
thank you!
Hey, Anouk. It would have never occurred to me that you were once homeless. But then to read you were homeless and pregnant, that’s just upsetting to think you were in that situation. I’m glad you and your boyfriend stuck together, that even when friends ostracised you, you guys had each other.
Being homeless is something I’ve recently chatted to my husband a lot about. This comes from my questioning our welfare system in Australia, because I’m increasingly seeing more homelessness on my transit to and from work. He’s my reality check, and often reminds me how I take so many things for granted.
It’s great that you’re doing what you can do to help. I could certainly do more too. Hopefully, after the tears have dried, you felt better for having had a cry.
❤️...🤗...👻
Hi @linnyplant :) how are you doing? Still busy with all kinds of things? Crazy thing to think back about, I didn't find out that I was pregnant until about 17 weeks, so we were already homeless by the time I found out.. due to all the stress you could not even see it (while it was my third child!) I don't know how I would have ever managed without my boyfriend, I don't think that would have been an option in that situation, I mean it was not only this issue but also a lot of pain due to other things going on. He made me smile at least one time a day (his mission he said) <3
You often don't realize that you take so many things for granted until it's too late. At least that was the case here too, and I don't value fancy items any longer like I did before all that happened, they're just replaceable items.. we moved from our home country with as little as a few suitcases, the rest we left behind.. and when we moved from Spain to Hungary we left so many things too, gave lots of things away and only took the necessary things..
Too bad you see the homeless rate increase too there, but it doesn't surprise me as this seems to be a worldwide problem :(
And yes, a good cry can help a lot :) Have a good weekend!!!
❤️
love you @anouk.nox, you have a defender's heart, and you're a great soul.....really appreciate you sharing this!
Thank you so much.. It took a while to finish the post but I really needed to share it.. I hope it opens up at least one persons eyes while coming across someone in need. Just a smile can lighten up a day.. doesn't have to cost a thing..
A very well written with a pious soul. Even thinking for doing godd to such people is a good deed, we India have many such people few who worked day and night as labourer and sleep in open sky at night tye second one are the beggars who made begging a habit to earn money...my heart always goes for people of the labourer category though they work hard they do not have home to take rest.
Thanks for your kind words.. it's sad to read that the people you describe can't even get home to rest.. unfair world right ?
Indeed....but government are doing bit for them ..we have kind of tempoeary shelters...during winter to keep them safe
That is awesome, loved it :) Keep up the good work!
Thank you :-)
I somehow missed this post @anouk.nox, but I just wanted to tell you how touching this is, and what a kind and strong spirit you have.
When Brian got sick and stopped working, and eventually I did the same to support him at home, we went through our savings fairly quickly and it took some time to receive a medical pension in Canada (over a year+). I quickly understood how people end up homeless, even though I sympathized with the homeless in our city and often did things to help them, going through it first hand brings a whole different perspective to homelessness.
Thank you for such a touching and honest post!
I totally missed this comment, sorry @lynncoyle1
Thank you for your kind words, as always! That is very true when you go through things like that yourself you see how quick these things can go the wrong way if you're not lucky. Luckily you didn't end up homeless, and you got through that period of waiting. We have been living here since September, and I still don't have my health insurance. Things keep going wrong, and every time things go wrong there's a delay of weeks or sometimes months. It's unbelievable .. I wrote about it last week (you read the post I believe) today we surprisingly got lucky, went back to the same agency as where I was last week, and they fixed it for me by putting some writing on paper with my signature and that's it. I wonder why she didn't do that last week? But this means not going to immigration office tomorrow and again I'm only two steps away from finally getting my health insurance. It's quite difficult sometimes in another country, especially when you don't work for a boss. But luckily it's still easier here than in Spain, and luckily they speak English here at these agencies (in Spain they didn't and I didn't master Spanish good enough to get it done at the time lol)
Thanks for your sweet comment, btw I just made a post about random acts of kindness, your post is included btw ;)
@anouk.nox don't be sorry. I only posted it a few days ago haha. I had missed your post altogether somehow!
We had to deal with so many government workers for Brian's disability pension, and I think it comes down to the fact that so many just don't care. Why didn't that first woman fix it so easily? Because she couldn't be bothered I think. It's sad when it's affecting someone's life!! We had one lady, in a monotone voice say to Brian, "I'm sorry sir, but cancer isn't a disability"!!
Thanks for the shout out...I'm going to check out your new post 😅
Yes, I guess you're right, many don't care.. That's terrible to say something like that.. some people really have no empathy..
Btw this was the same woman, but I guess they now found out it was their mistake and therefore they choose to fix it.. not sure but that's my feeling :)
I think it's lack of empathy as well. So sad. How do you get to a place in life where you can't stand in someone else's shoes and feel for them?? I'll never understand it.
The same woman! I think your feeling is correct :)
I don't either.. I am actually surprised several times a week how it's possible that people just can't see that it would be so helpful to just take a moment to try to help sending them in the right direction, instead of just thinking, ok let's just answer to not make it my problem any longer..
I mean this person here was repeating to me: it's the law I need that document bla bla bla.. and now all of the sudden she could just write a note , let me sign it and done. I guess she found out that it was their mistake indeed.. and then all of the sudden a note would do, where she sent me to the immigration office first last week (knowing that I would have to go there with toddler and boyfriend waiting for hours and hours)...
Funny thing is that the immigration office acted the same way, they didn't need the birth certificate, a note of us both was enough because we were both there and she carries my bf's name.. so the law is kind of bendable here I guess ;)
So bizarre @anouk.nox! In Canada, most believe that generally speaking, all government workers behave like robots! :)
A little kindness does go such a long way, and we never really know how our actions truly affect people, so in my mind, it's always "nice to be nice" 😅
There it is....the post about the homeless man!
Im still so glad you did what you could. And indeed, even though you can not help everybody, it is very easy t make somebody smile again.
'
This man was touched by your heart for sure!
Sorry I missed some comments here!! Yes this is the one I was talking about some weeks before posting it.. it took a while ;) I didn't see the man anymore lately.. now I wonder how he's doing..
Good evening ma'am from New York City. Interesting post. Very interesting. Been homeless twice. First after hitting bottom from drugs and alcohol. The second, after
the emergence of the schizophrenia whose massive symptoms I had been attempting to medicate with drugs and alcohol...for decades.
I get pseudo flashbacks...low moments from those days. Waking just in time to avoid five teens with their dicks out about to rain on my parade and having to negotiate the minefield that was their rage as it seems I deprived them of their right to subjugate. My mother calling the shelter I was in to chew me out as to my dragging the family name in the mud by being homeless and not suffering without having to air the family's dirty laundry which I guess...was me. Picking through the dumpster to find the bread that had the least bleach for the restaurateur didn't want those bums going through the garbage so he soaked each garbage load in bleach to deter us.
Despite the four years I spent in homeless shelters after time dodging all manner of harm on the streets...the true horror came not from the strangers I encountered...but from the family I was born into. After all betrayal, by its very nature, cannot be delivered to my front door by strangers.
What freaks me out though as I read your post is that I still dream of some of the shelters I 'visited'....and have done so every year, sometimes every month since I left in 1997. Almost always when I find myself lollygagging around some step I need to take but will not. And as I find myself resisting the urge to write about those times...my resistance to the idea makes it clear I need to revisit that time again. Kinda like lancing the space a boil may want to grow in to make said space inhospitable for its growth. Thank you for taking me back to a place I have been to. Many life lessons learned from that place. Maybe... there are a couple left there for me to excavate too.Thank you. And Cheers!
all pics courtesy of pixabay as usual...
Sorry that you had to go trough these things, I missed this comment sorry! It's sad how these things can turn into the worst soon, but glad to read you're doing better! take care!
Really positive post, upvoted!
Thank you @luppers sorry for not replying sooner, I missed some of the comments..
This is incredibly moving @anouk.nox. I'm so glad you were able to get out of that situation, and it's true that when people hit tough times is when they really know who their friends are.
My husband was homeless 11 years ago when he was mentally ill with mania. I believe many of the homeless who end up on the streets are mentally ill if they don't do drugs, and that's why they don't get the help they need as well. Jared didn't do drugs or alcohol, but he couldn't stay in the homeless shelters because he didn't follow the rules due to his mental state. Probably too much information lol! Amazing heart dear, and even though you can't help everyone, you made so much of a difference in that old man's day. ❤
Ah sweet @snowpea I am so sorry that I missed a few comments, yours too.. Otherwise I would have replied already. It's sad because indeed the mentally ill are also excluded from help often because of their state of mind. People assume they are on drugs I guess, in many cases. And in Holland it's also a problem when you have no address they say you can't get welfare, you can get a homeless payment every month (which is very little) but then you have to fill in a document to let them know where you slept every single night. You're not allowed to sleep at people's home, or in a car etc. but you have to keep track under which bridge you sleep (for example) as if you don't have other things to worry about. It's so messed up that system. We've experienced this first hand by the way.. it's not doable these rules ...
I'm glad things are looking so much better for you guys by the way!!! <3
Too bad you can't help anyone right? Oh man I feel so stupid, I just made a post about random acts of kindness, and now I read your comment and suddenly realize about that man that gave Jared that cheque, I should have included that story as it's so heartwarming.. It teared me up!
Congratulations @anouk.nox!
You raised your level and are now a Minnow!
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Your posting give me some opinion if we want to be the winner we can have strong and healthy to be creative human
You have a good spirit and see through the veil that blinds a lot of society @anouk.nox. I'm sure having gone through it yourself builds a stronger level of empathy and understanding for the suffering of the homeless, I think you hit the nail on the head when you talk about the fact that sometimes the worst thing for homeless people is how much they are ignored. People won't even accnowledge them with a nod, smile or even a 'I don't have any spare money at the moment'. This is what I say to any homeless person when it is the case. I try to give when I can, but I always acknowledge their existence even if it is only a 'sorry I don't have anything for you right now'.
I recently sat down with a homeless guy in my hometown at the end of a night out. I was a little drunk but not so much so that I wasn't making sense..... I think 😉 Anyway, joking aside I had only my cab fair home and it was 2 am in the morning with no other way for me to get home other than a taxi. I said I was sorry I didn't have any money spare but would he mind if I sat and chatted for a bit. His immediate response was to say I had nothing to be sorry about and he asked me my name. I spoke to him for about 30 minutes and found out he'd ended up on the street after going to jail for stabbing someone. He had come out of jail and due to the nature of his crime had struggled to get work. The thing that struck me the most was something that sunk deep down in my soul and that was about the importance of acknowledgment. He said as much while I was chatting with him, he said it is the worst psychological aspect of rough sleeping, feeling invisible. Similarly, he said that people are just people, good bad and somewhere in between, homeless or not. I could tell by speaking to him that he wasn't dangerous, at least at that time, despite his former crime being quite violent. Anyway, I left eventually and he thanked me for taking the time to talk. I promised if I saw him I would help (with money) when I could but would never not say hello and greet him by his name. He was called John. I still see him occasionally and always stop for a 5 minute chat.
This post is great Anouk, I'm the person who set up the project giving community post and I look forward to your entry if you do decide to write something 🙂 Take care