This is well-written. I'll also advise the highest level of professionalism and politeness in your mails. Before I got my current jobs, I was careless with the way I wrote my mails, until my boss pointed it out to me and taught me how to write professionally. So even if you have a personal relationship with the person you are writing to, still keep it professional. Great tips by the way, I have learnt so much in one post, and I just followed. Well-done!
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Yeap, gotta draw the line a little between too personal and professional.