It happened.

That awkward moment when you realize that you've asked Einstein how to create world peace just after he's just given instructions on how to split an atom to the Scientific Community, but you still need an answer. It's a tough moment for all. I was glaring @Denmarkguy because he was re-enacting the Alamo in his head and all I wanted was a clear answer to my question: "How do I respond to the Cheetah bot? I ain't no cheetah! And why should I thank it at all?! It's a freakin' robot! GAH!"

And so it began.

The Blue Collar Goddess (BCG, that would be me) Ascension Glossary To Steemit.
I'm calling it The Ascension Glossary for a variety of reasons, but the most obvious reason of all is because I've been inviting many of my ultra-spiritual, raw food eating, fifth dimensional traveling buddies onboard and many of them should be showing up soonish ― it takes them a little time to process directions without meditation and certain solfeggio frequencies.
I will add more to this glossary as this ocean reveals to me. For now, this will do as Part One.

Each definition has two numbers:
One = What the world according to us ultra spiritual people understand the word to mean
Two = What it means to the world of Steem

Cheetah

The fastest land animal on earth. Probably endangered.
a. A large feline cartoon cat with dots that entices your spawn to eat orange chemicals that look like puffy cheese designed to minimize your lifespan thanks to Monsanto.
Artificial intelligence that runs in the background of the land of Steemit and hunts down plagarists and cheaters. Isn't that clever?

Flag

That thing you wrapped yourself in at Burning Man.
You've forgotten to cite a source, or someone needed to put "Baby in the corner" and now you've got to wait for Patrick Swayze to save you. Make sure it's the real Patrick Swayze, because impersonators are flagged too. The Cheetah will eat them.

Minnow

We like them on our pizzas and we call them anchovies when we're not vegetarians; also what large sea creatures eat.
What whales (see "Whale" below) eat.
a. You for your first few weeks, months or years at Steemit if you don't figure out how to book a ride on the Steemit Steamer. Sink or swim, my lovelies.

Resteem

Dumping your ego and assisting a fellow spiritual person on their path even though you're both engaged in the same goal at the same place.
(picture included below) You liked what you read. Tell your friends and hit that button on the side that looks like a detour sign for a cul-de-sac.

Upvote

How we greet each other at the Co-Op or Farmers Market on the weekend
(picture included below) You like what you read. You give 'em a few cents worth of your thumbs up. It's similar to a "like" on Facebook with groovy bonus points behind it that you can actually use to pay off your mountain bike and continue to reduce your carbon footprint.

Whale

Large mammals in the ocean we are trying to save from extinction due to pollution and hunters.
A member of the Steemit Illuminati who can suck your soul from your very monitor ...
... erm ...
A member of the Steemit community who is revered and adored and is clearly more talented than you will ever be, and when they flag or "down vote" you it's because they have to cull the herd ...
... erm ...
A member of the Steemit community who will sail first class because they are better than you ...
... erm ...
I'm having some difficulty with this. I'll get back to you.

Witness

(picture included below) A person who was crazy enough to die in the latest Mad Max movie: Fury Road
@pfunk says right here (https://steemit.com/steemit-guides/@pfunk/a-full-steemit-user-s-guide-to-steem-witnesses) that witnesses are trusted members of the community, that they positively contribute to Steem and Steemit in many ways, are qualified and experienced in administration of servers, and are experienced in cryptocurrency networks and software. Essentially, they are the back bone of Steemit in many ways. Some of them don't know anyone really exists out here, so it helps if we witness them too.
In spiritual speak, that's called "reciprocity."
[from "witness me" on Deviant Art]

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denmarkguy (78) 8 years ago

SO glad to see you writing again!

For a while, I thought the little "^" was a special kind of hat award you could give people...

This will be an ultra useful guide for the ultra spiritual people. Get ready for the Kombucha Revolution! Or something...

$0.49

4 votes

paradise-found (69) 8 years ago

Kombucha? I make my own!! Love it!!

$0.00

1 vote

pipes (58) 8 years ago

Someone promoted your post. Promotions help every steemians.
Your reward is an upvote and 0.029 SBD extra promotion.
Good job, see you next time in Promoted! ;)

cosmictriage (65) 8 years ago

Wheeeee!
curtseys

jacobtothe (75) 8 years ago

The owl told me to upvote this.

2 votes

notoriousdjp (56) 8 years ago

Great explanation for newbs like me! Resteemed!

I really adore your sense of humor @cosmictriage!
I could hear it in the back ground, "hey, Denmarkguy, who the BLEEP..."
Terrific post! Steem on !!

Thank you for saying that! I was raised without American Television to sway my brain, and as such my mother had no clue what she was doing to me by allowing only the BBC in our home.
Monty Python for a ten year old was just nuts.

theregularguy (66) 8 years ago

This is very helpful for new users!

I gave you a vote courtesy of @htooms.

https://steemit.com/takemyvotes/@htooms/i-m-not-going-to-upvote-you-do-it-yourself-1-winners-and-updates

Awesomesauce!
swoons with happiness

steemspoker (62) 8 years ago

Resteem!
The setup of your post puts a smile on my face :-)

wordsword (58) 8 years ago

Terrific lol. Upvoted Not because it seemed the correct thing to do though. But to let you know I like what you wrote it's funny.

stellabelle (76) 8 years ago

well done

kenny-crane (71) 8 years ago

Clever, humorous and accurate; nice helpful glossary of our special steemit terms!

The Blue Collar Goddess Steemit Ascension Glossary (for Noobs like me)