From Schrodinger's Cat to Zeppelin's Black Dog, cosmologists at the Faith No More Institute of Physics and Astronomy have deciphered the oft debated complex rhythmic patterns hidden within the popular Led Zeppelin song Black Dog. It is believed that the black magic occult rituals practiced by legendary guitarist Jimmy Page first unveiled the extraordinary scientific knowledge from ancient, possibly extraterrestrial, sources and have since remained hidden in plain sight, masterfully encoded into the otherwise seemingly haphazard rhythmic patterns of Black Dog. Perhaps the artistic reason for the absence of color of the canine was but a clever allusion to dark energy all along...