This is my entry for round 12 of the Information Finding Championship (IFC). In this round we have to teach the group something of our choosing. I've decided to teach everyone how to read the book "Infinite Jest" by David Foster Wallace.
Step 1. Get hyped up about book after watching movie about David Foster Wallace and his best selling book "Infinite Jest."
Step 2. Purchase book from Amazon or other online book store and patiently await its arrival. In the mean time, take on an air of pretentious arrogance at the thought that you will soon be reading such an iconic book.
Step 3. On its arrival notice the weight of the package. Open it and notice the thickness of the book. 1000 pages of tiny print.
Become a bit nervous with the realization that this is going to be a daunting task. Reassure yourself that you are doing something important and that the valueable insights hidden within the books pages will be worth it alone. Not to mention how sophisticated you will appear when you tell your friends what you are currently reading.
Step 4. Begin reading book. After noticing that it is quite boring and feels a lot like work, try hard not to fall asleep.
Step 5. Create reading schedule to help you get through the task. If you can force yourself to read 10 pages per day you will complete the book in approximately 100 days. That's only three months. You can do this!
Step 6. Fuck that! Give up after successfully reading 66 pages.
Step 7. Feel like a fraud and a failure. Take note that your own pretentious arrogance cost you $30 dollars.
Step 8. Humbled by your failure, attempt to redeem yourself by giving it to a friend to read. At least that way it wont be a complete waste. Remember that you have a friend who is known for reading many books and who often reads boring books. Also take note of his obsessive personality, recalling a conversation in which he informed you that once he starts a book he feels compelled to finish it and that he has never not finished a book. Maliciously and manipulatively, talk up the book to your friend until he agrees to read it.
Step 9. Feel relieved that the book is out of your house, no longer reminding you of your ineptitude.
Step 10. Feel intense shock when 3 months later friend returns book to you stating that he is "over it."
Step 11. Inquire about friends experience and come to learn that your friend only made it to page 244. Laugh when friend informs you that there is a 20 page section within the book that is literally gibberish - you're not surprised.
Step 12. Spend some time contemplating the point of the book. Perhaps the book has no meaning at all? Perhaps the immense length and pointlessness of the book is a malicious joke formulated by its author? Perhaps the author is currently laughing in the afterlife at anyone who reads his nonsense book?
Step 14. Get rid of book. Throw it in the garbage, or if your city has a recycling program, in the recycling bin.
Step 15. Breathe a sigh of relief and turn on the television.
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hahaha, hilarious. Thanks for this super funny tutorial!
You're welcome!
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Haha... great post, had me laughing... but it is completely true... except that I haven't even started it! I was recommended it by a brother in law... I bought it, but is sitting on the bookshelf....
I have featured you and this post for a Curation Contest here:
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Haha so you partially already know what I'm talking about and will know the full extent once you decide to give it a go. I hope that you have better luck then I did. Thanks for the curation feature. I appreciate that :)
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Sigh... I have a feeling that it will stay on the bookshelf until I die...
Your post was featured in an entry into @pifc's Curation Contest:Week 55. Posts are selected because the entrant felt you are producing great content and deserve more attention (& rewards) on your post. As such your post has been upvoted and will be visited by other members of the PIFC Community.
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Wonderful! Thanks for the laugh!
I'm here because @bengy featured you in the Pay it Forward Curation Contest. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for checking it out. i appreciate it :)
This is awesome. I haven't tried to read that particular book. I have been through similar with other books. It feels good when someone else confirms your feelings. Poof no more 'failure'😊
You were featured in week 55 of @pifc's Pay It Forward Curation Contest by @bengy. @pifc is a Pay It Forward Community which believes in by helping others grow we build a stronger community. We run this contest each week, it is open to everyone. It's a great way to show off people you find that might need some more exposure or meet new people.
I'm glad you liked it and I agree that it feels good when someone confirms your feelings about a book. I'll check out that contest :)
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Hahaha! I've never heard of that book or the author but that was a funny entry to read.
Doubt I would have read it either way but after reading your attempt to read it and your friends attempt I think I'm much less likely, especially since I have a whole list of books to read that I never find the time for.
You've got a great sense of humor and I appreciate the laughs. Thank you for playing in another round of the IFC and also for helping me to laugh as well. :) Cheers.
Yeah, dont bother with the book. You're not missing anything.
Glad you got a laugh out of it!
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