Thank you, dear @erh.germany Your words were so needed to read.
Yes, that inner strength came the hard way - no complaints, but you either learn these skills or you become plowed over. I never wanted to be plowed over, I wanted to 'live' and wanted to understand, grow. I learned that these things come in cycles and that there is always a light at the other end - we do survive them. And I do very much believe in 'happy endings' ;) However, I have to say that in times of extreme difficulty, you're really not in a state of mindful skill use, you're in a state of 'autopilot' and knocking back your emotions and worry just to get through the day in order to have some normalcy and functionality. :)
Yes, we are allowed to homeschool here. Grateful for that. We also have a very large population of homeschoolers in the U.S. and in my state. I respect those that went before us because they really did the hard work as it is now well-established and accepted. After we finished that school year, I did take our son to a Pediatric Developmental doctor just to make sure everything was okay and received the validation needed. Not only did the doctor homeschool his own children and suggest it for us, but he told us that our son was fine. He also told us there was something wrong with the school as he had 8 other families coming to him with similar history. It was a Montessori School if you can believe it. We have 800 families in our homeschool community and many of them are teachers/Professors that became disenchanted with public schools now homeschooling their own children. So, it's really quite nice to have these professionals as teachers for our children now ;) Maybe Germany has a better educational system than here? I hope so.
The way people reacted to what our son was going through really upset me. I still can't comprehend it and likely never will. I suppose the saying, "You find out who your true friends are during hard times." says so much as to the pervasiveness of this mindset. I never believed that saying entirely. Unfortunately, it is true - I don't know why though...really. Fear? I don't know if it's fear or selfishness. There were some parents that were complaining to the teachers and school that our son was getting 'special privileges' because he was able to stay inside while their children had to stay outside. And I agree, a little understanding and compassion would have gone a long way - I am very mindful of not burdening other people or overwhelming them - I tend to actually keep to myself if I can't be present and supportive of others.
I'm grateful that you show the doctor and the musician and pay tribute to them. You always amaze me with the fact that what you usually only see in the cinema has become reality in your life.
Thank you, @erh.germany I suppose it is a tribute to them because they were both emulating such a big light from within themselves. I owe so much gratitude to both for their part in this happy ending. When it comes down to it, these are the people that make the world a better place...just knowing that such people exist, makes the world a better place. And they do!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and well-written response and feedback as always. Very grateful for your beautiful perspective.
Enjoy your weekend
Thank you, too.
What you say I find is normal. In times of difficulties and challenges, you do what is needed. It's actually something valuable that you put yourself on duty and not let yourself be overwhelmed by your responsibilities. Most people who are more or less stable go through their difficult times and function. The aftermath comes later and to work with what had bothered me and where I feel disappointment towards others.
From what I know about myself is that my feelings of disappointment are connected to guilt on my part. When people dropped me during my hardest times I was deeply hurt. ... Thoughts came that I myself was probably not there for them, either through my own ignorance or because my circumstances were tough at the same time. Also, in some cases I felt trust and was kind of light minded about their potential to help themselves. Sometimes people are mad about me even though I haven't known the real issues because they did not tell me and did not ask actively for help.
I learned that in case I need support that I actively must ask for help and that a "no" from the person must be accepted by me. It's tricky when to call an event "done" or "overcome". To accept that there are people who are simply not the right ones in helping me even though they are my friends or family sometimes overshadows those helpers who did support me. Certain challenges need certain characters. Most people are not made for all cases ... that is what I learned from my worst crisis in life.
I got rid of my guilt (for the main part, still working on some issues) and give to those who were not able to give something to me. I do that because I want to open up a new chance of coming close again.
I lost one friend in this and never got in touch again with her. This is not so dramatic after all.
All in all your story is a good example that in all circumstances we lose something and we win something. What do you think?
Please, call me Erika :)
P.S. I don't know if our education system is better. ... I guess, not. OECD standards all over the world seem to be pretty much the same to me... But I do not know enough about other countries.