I have realized though, that I am way too much of a bitch in a way. I remember reading some of your posts in the past and while I agreed with 95%, I focused on the 5% I didn't agree with. I actually felt personally attacked when you talked about "the left", even though you said multiple times that you don't lump me together with them.
I expect people around me to be thick skinned even though I am not really that open for criticism myself: when I feel hurt, I will strike back 10 times harder, so "I win".
I always said that I am nice to strangers and much harsher to people I care about, because I want to improve them. That is not what friends do though, friends are there to support each other.
In my last job I met a girl that was really nice to me, but I was making stupid jokes when she felt vulnerable and I abandoned her, just to test her feelings towards me. I also deemed her stupid, because she could not argue with me, when I tried to have controversial debates. When she finally got mad at me, I tried to show her how easily I can ignore her...
Now that she does not talk to me anymore (and most likely never will again), I feel a ton of guilt and realized that I might not be as self aware/conscious as I always claimed to be. I think I have a tendency to put other people down, just to feel better about myself...
Oh and these days... when I talk about "left" I am talking about the very vocal social justice warrior, antifa, minority.
There are many people that not too many years ago would have identified as left, that I now consider right.
The overton window has shifted largely due to the activities of those I call "left".
They love to call anyone who disagrees with them disparaging names and RIGHT or ALT RIGHT. Even if the person they are saying it to has always considered themselves liberal, left, progressive, etc.
The attacking of anyone that disagrees with them has shifted the Overton window and as such I see many people that traditionally would have been left, or centrist, as being kind of lumped with the right.
I've always been a centrist... yet I too am currently lumped with the right.
I kind of dislike the left/right paradigm and the use of the label, but it is used so often that it becomes a necessary inconvenience in conversation.
So at least you know who I consider the current LEFT. The very vocal minority that views anyone that disagrees with them in the slightest their enemy.
I know, buddy. You told me often enough. In fact I was resentful for you seemingly never reading my posts, unless I asked you to read them. I thought that if you are interested in my ideas, you would stop by from time to time :/
That is the actual reason I got mad. It was personal. I am an extremely resentful person that will wait and study until he knows your weakness and then he will strike.
I have learned to listen to my feelings, and I do actually love people and I need to have the courage to show that. So I guess, I love you buddy ;D, in a manly way ofc :D. Thanks for all the support, time and love you showed towards me!
Well, you are doing the most important thing. Examining your own mind. For in reality there is only one mind each of us can control. Our own.
Everyone else you can try to convince of new things, and sometimes it can be simply sharing with no intentions other than to share. Those things are like seeds. There is no telling how long it will take for those seeds to sprout, if at all. There is no controlling what grows from them.
I can honestly say that I've rarely seen anyone change their mind on the spot. It takes time, and self reflection.
We all make mistakes. As long as we acknowledge them and learn from them I believe that is healthy and necessary. It is those that look for a scapegoat, etc rather than accept their responsibility that are in a trap of their own making.
I am always learning things. I am not always happy with how I deal with certain situations. All we can do is learn, and move on.
It sounds like you are doing fine in that respect.
untrue. I control peoples minds like other people eat breakfast :3. I need to acknowledge and take control over my power, so it does not subconsciously let me ruin the live of everyone I know and care about.
2 Months of identity crisis, self-hate and despair. And ofc this would have never happened without the girl I met