" I work at a center that specialized in addiction and rehab. I love my job, but this work is not for everyone. It can make you question your own mental health at times. When you witness the success of those who are able to kick their addiction, you feel a sense of importance and euphoria within yourself. You say to yourself "Wow, I'm really making a difference in the world!". It's inspiring to see those who make positive changes in their life and help make their community and family lives stronger. On other occasions you feel a sense a darkness and hopelessness. You hear the heart breaking stories of severe traumatic experiences, and how their substance abuse caused them to lose everything they used to hold dear to themselves. You see the people who relapse multiple times and just can't seem to get it together. Despite the emotional roller coaster, it's hard to envision myself doing anything else. From the homeless to the CEO's of large corporations, we see people from all walks of life come through our doors. Misery loves company. Addiction doesn't seem to discriminate against anyone. A few weeks ago, a client told me one of the most powerful stories I have ever heard. It left such a strong impression on me that I felt the need to share. This is a treasure that needs to be shared with all.
One day when I arrived at work, my manager requested that I conduct some mental health assessments on some of our clients. He provided me a list of names. They didn't need to be done in any particular order, so I decided to start from the top and work my way down. I called down to the front desk and requested that one of the worker's bring the first client to my office. Little did I know that I was about to be left in awe. A few moments later, the first client on the list appeared before me. He didn't fit the stereotype of an "addict". He was a man in his late 20's. We was well groomed and in good physical condition. His demeanor was calm and friendly. He was quick witted and humorous.
I won't go in to the details of the entire assessment, but I will take you through his journey. During the assessment, I inquired into his personal history and began to delve into what motivated him to seek treatment. He explained to me that his life got off to a really rough start. His biological parents had dropped him and his brothers off at an orphanage at a very young age. This was the beginning of a long walk through hell. His entire life was spent in and out of foster homes. He explained to me the rampant abuse that he and others had endured in every foster home that he had lived in. Every type of abuse that you could imagine took place. Sexual, emotional, physical abuse as well severe neglect. It was difficult to listen to all of the details. As I listened, it felt as if my heart was imploding. Every muscle fiber in my body tightened and my train of thoughts came to a stand still. It's almost impossible to fathom the evil that people can display and act out.
He had dropped out of school by the time he was 17. He was able to attend a trade school and got his qualifications to become a welder. He began to use heroin and fentanyl daily to deal with the pain of the past. Although he was spending hundreds of dollars a week on his new found crutch, he never missed a day of work and conducted himself in a way that no one suspect he had a problem. Unfortunately, his brother's had also began using heroin and fentanyl on a frequent basis. He was depressed and ashamed of his substance use. He was ambivalent to quitting. The drugs provided him with comfort. He described it as being wrapped in a warm blanket and someone giving you constant re assurance. One day he heard that one of his brother's had overdosed. He was devastated by the news. He had lost contact with his other brother, had no family supports and found it difficult to form relationships with anyone. On the one month anniversary of his brother's passing, he felt that there was no point in carrying on. He decided to end his life. Sitting in his apartment bathroom, he drew up a lethal dose of a combination of fentanyl and heroin in a needle. He tightly wrapped an elastic around his left arm. As he looked down to find a suitable vein, he thought to himself "This is the last thing i'll ever see". He inserted the needle into that vein and injected. A few moments later, he found his body giving out and his mind begin to drift. He felt anger and resentment in his heart. He felt the world had been unjust to him and felt his feelings were and actions were justified. He lay emotionless. His surroundings began to fill with darkness. Out of the blue, his mind stopped on a dime and made a 180 degree turn. He felt a slight sense of euphoria paired with a zen like calm. He began to see a glimmering light. He felt his soul begin to leave his body...."
To be continued!
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STOPThanks for sharing this story with the community - I think it is important to highlight just how people look and don't look when they are dealing with addiction. People don't always match the expectations media has set out. When I was drinking alcohol I had a business that was very successful, young children and a great marriage. I was (hey still am) well groomed and definitely don't fit the profile of prolific alcoholic.
Looking forward to hearing the rest of the story.
I've posted the rest of the story. I hope you enjoy. Cheers!