A Lost Girl

Dear Steemians,

      I don't want you to know who I am, I just want you to know my story. A year ago, I started a blog. January 7, 2017: New Year, Same Dreams. I spoke about the place I was in, and how I was ready for a change. I was going to turn my life around, and finally start achieving all the goals I've had since I was a little girl. I've always loved art: literature, painting, music. For a long time though, I hadn't been practicing any of it. I did something I wasn't ready for, and I ended up drowning in it. My whole world revolved around this mistake that affected so many parts of my life. Because of this, I became lost in my head, looking for fulfillment. So after a couple of years of this, it was 2017, and I was as hopeful as the rest of the girls all over my socials that this was going to be my year. A huge change was coming this year, I was sure of it. But the thing about changing your whole life is, you have to change your whole life. And the thing about me is I'm terrible at leaving my comfort zone. After that first post, life kind of took over and started making changes for me. However, I was still me and I was far from ready to face these changes. I never made another post. I was a little busy doing me, being the same girl stuck in her head. I didn't achieve my goals, however, I was not wrong about that big change. I came into 2017 going through heartbreak, and drowning in my own thoughts and left it completely shattered. There's this quote I always hear about stars. In order for a star to be born, first, a whole nebula must collapse or something like that. Well, this is my collapse. I experienced ultimate highs and ultimate lows this past year. I found some missing pieces, came face to face with my past, found my passion again, and started to feel alive again. I also experienced my first true heartbreak, the death of a friend for the first time, and having to leave my whole life behind in order to pursue something bigger. Now that doesn't sound like such a bad thing, but when you're in the lowest part of your life all you want is the comfort of home and the people you love to be there to hold. Instead, I had to leave it all behind and move to a new town where I knew no one. New house, new town, new life, all the things I had dreamed of, but all at the worst time. Or so I thought. The truth is these are the moments that build you. These are the foundations of an extraordinary change. I wouldn't make those changes on my own so God forced it on me. Now I'm here, in search of God, in search of myself, and in search of love. I feel in order to achieve the happiness I've been seeking those are the steps I'm going to have to take. I constantly have a million thoughts in my mind, and I guess I'm ready to start sharing them. I'm tired of living inside my head. I'm here to tell my story to anyone who will listen. Sometimes I will write, and sometimes I will make videos, and I hope you will enjoy them. I want to take you along with me on my journey, and hopefully, I can be a part of some of your journeys as well.

-D.