¿What would I do if I would use my FREE WILL?

in #introducemyself7 years ago (edited)

One never really stop a minute to ask oneself this question... and when one does, one never takes the answers seriously. Too much to do, too much to change, it looks too painful already😧

It might have been easier for me simply because from my early childhood, I always had the feeling that I didn't fit-in. In my family. In my school. Between my mates. I never got the chance to feel comfortable enough to Not ask myself "What the f...k is going on here?". I couldn't find sense around me. As a child I never understood why things were the way they were. What was natural for them, looked insane to me...

So I've been looking for a place to fit-in, and here I am finally :

IMG-20151128-WA0002.jpg

I believe Free Will is a choice where Intuition and Reason meet halfway to create who you are, to create your life. If you use too much Reason, you do too much mistakes forcing a way, a direction you imagined first, from a limited perspective. But if you keep it balanced with your Intuition, then you can start to let go of your plans (better said : the plans society had for you) and be opened to the big plan Life propose to you!

My choice has been to abandon my studies at ... the last year of my degree! Don't want a career = I'll miss all the rest!!! ...Life!... I don't know where I go, but I know what I leave. I leave my country, I leave the points of reference I knew.. They are not really mine anyway. And I'd like to let go all those things we do everyday, not because we decide to do them, just because we think we have to do them... I need to find sense. I want to simplify things, to find more meaning in my existence, and feel more alive.

Tabula Rasa : Let's start again, and try to find My way this time.

First, I needed a refuge, and needed to be surrounded by nature. I needed to learn how to feel safe, to reach a certain autonomy. I'd like to become an adult, a real one.. somebody who can support herself : with her hands and her wisdom. So I started by building this :

In a beautiful corner of Andalucia, full of birds and aromatics, I've built myself a wooden geodesic dome. Don't get me wrong, I had no clue how I would do it. I never really built something before apart of few shelves and a wooden mailbox!!! But yes, I'm a little bit stubborn sometimes...

Let's go back in time. Two years ago, I couldn't pay the rent anymore, almost no money left. But I had a piece of land already bought that I fall in love with, the kind of land that you don't know where to start, it's so much to do : no track to get there, no water neither, and it's pretty steep. It's why I got it so cheap... BUT, Great Views!!! I feel like an eagle there! or maybe a smaller version... more vulnerable probably... hahaha
And now I can say that with some time and obstinacy... I've build a very strong Off-Grid refuge for about 4000€. I don't pay rent anymore, I've sold my car to buy a conversion kit to make an electric bike, and the only bill I have is a 17€ internet bill a month!!

Soon I would like to share this experience in more details with you, with anybody who wish to, or live already their dreams, whatever they are. I'm fascinated when people are able to communicate and share Inspiration, and I know it's many people out there who are very creative and many others who can't wait to explore their creativity. So if I could transmit a little bit of hope or inspiration to somebody, and help them to believe that anybody is capable to decide and create their own future... I'll be more than happy!

To get to the point to slowly built what I feel is my dream nest, it has been a long process made of deconstruction and exploration. 11 years ago, I arrived in this new country alone, confused, without a professional background, but full of curiosity and ready to catch any opportunity that would cross my way. I may fail but I'm not prepare to take this "dead life" I'm supposed to have.
I'm not naive, I don't expect it to be easy, neither perfect, but at least I would have given it a go.

So like this, I ended up in Barcelona. I didn't plan to live in a big city, just accidents of life...
I had a great time there, at first. Changing job every few weeks, I've learnt a lot slipping into the skin of many different people and trying for a short time their lives. Obviously, I had a lot of fun partying too... and meeting a lot of people from all over the world. Such a diversity to explore! It was very intense! A lot to process... In that time I could travel with almost no money and I was sure to find a new job any time I would need one.

But that was before the CRISIS!

In 2008, I even ran a bar for a couple of years. Worst period to start a business!! But we did well : working hard, paying all our debts and leaving when the first opportunity came, before it's too late.
Great experience but such a stress in the same time!

Barriga.jpg

Lots of souvenirs there... a friend did the painting for us : http://philippeboonen.net/ (in a mad version of his work), the bar became my home for a long year (it was impossible to get a flat), and lots of funny moments with crazy friends...
All this ended. Life in Barcelona became harder and harder, and it was time for me to finally ask myself what to do : Now I'll imagine and build my future.

To be continued...

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Perfect post, ilike it

Wow! I know you, I even helped carry some of those tires, but I still had goose bumps and a huge smile on my face whilst reading this beautiful post :)

To be continued...

Well get on with it then, I want more! We all do!

Hahhaha, and the day you helped carrying the 1000 l container through the mountain.. you remember?? What a mission!! Thanks for your help, and continue to live your dream!! :-)

I bet after that you were pretty tired.

Sure, and that was the last of a serie of 3..!

What a story to begin your journey on Steemit! I do want to read more. Following, upvoted and resteemed.

Thank you very much.. I'm a little bit confused about all the system... but I'll catch up soon!

We all were a bit confused at the beginning...

do what you want to do

I hope everybody do.. follow their intuition...!

Excellent intro. Alas I learned the things you have reasoned through much too late in life to take that road less travelled.

I’ll be watching your blog for updates. Can’t wait for more.

Took me hours to do my first post.. and understand about markdown etc... I'm not used to write, but I think now it would be fun to do!

Cool post, thanks for sharing, I am also in Andalucia but not quite as remote and "off-grid" as you seem to be ;-) Looking forward to the next post .. ;-) Welcome to Steem !

Thanks for your welcome guys, I feel home already here...

Cool story, Good luck on your Andaluzia endeauvor and exploring your skills ;)
Andaluzia is a bit to hot for me, but kisses from a fellow Iberian habitant, be sure to visit Portugal or Galicia one day ;)

welcome @elzheimer, great intro, and well done on building your dome it looks beautiful. look forward to hearing more of your story.

Thank you, I love how you made your bus, I had a look to your last post.. it's fantastic! i'm impressed!

Cool story of another one back to the land!
Live the dream!
Saludos

What a beautiful place you have!!! Next time I pass by Huesca, I'll try to find you..

Please do!

welcome to Steemit Elzheima. Great name. Lets hope it doesn't come true! Your place is absolutely gorgeous and I know because I've been there. Good luck with all this. I will follow you.

Good post #elzheim
Like help me please

Hello!! Welcome to steemit. Great introduction!! .. enjoy your time and looking forward for more post from you

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Very cool story taking shape!

Pretty interesting how u changed shape over time and came to realize this life dream of yours.

Looking forward to seeing how this morphes in th continuation!

awww its beautiful! and must have been quite a challege to build on such a steep slope, wanna see your house soon! x

Nice post very curious to see what comes up next