Isn't true that we all, at least at times, wish we could travel back in time to a day, or a moment in our life when we felt on top of the world, happy, healthy, peaceful and worry-less ?
I want to share with you something I have been living with for the past 6 years.
I had a friend, whom I considered like a brother, we have known each other ever since we were kids in kindergarten, and been friends ever since. Of course as all real friends there were times when we pissed each other off, but we have always laughed it off and moved on, without the shadow of a grudge, it's just what friends do....
... Until this day in the summer of 2010, when I got so mad at him that I spew words so freaking mean that until this day I can't understand either why nor how those words came out of my mouth.
I am a very poised guy who thinks twice before speaking a word, for I know, and always knew that words can be worst than daggers, for daggers hurt only physically, but words, hurt on a much deeper level. But on that day, as if a spirit of meanness had taken control over me.
And every word I said still resonate within me as if it only happened an hour ago. I just can't get over it. Not a day passed by without finding myself ruminating that conversation. And feeling the weight of speaking without thinking. A burden only those who carry it know how heavy it is. It's seem easy to move on, but I tell you, sometimes, it is just out of your control. The thought keeps coming up.
Of course I apologized, but sometimes some things are broken beyond repair, the damage is too great, and the shame is such that you can't look the person in the eyes anymore.
There are a lot of quotes of the Buddha that I like, but this one has become the mantra of my life:
Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.
Well friends, hope you get something from this story, and measure the reach of your words next time you are about to utter them. Bite your tongue, and go for a walk, until the anger has passed, then speak your mind calmly with kind words.Time moves in one direction, and there no going back to fix errors.
Cheers