It was at this point, likely due to exhaustion, I started suffering from the beginnings of either A. a spiritual awakening or B. mental illness.
Why not both? :P
You've had an interesting life. Welcome to Steemit. Hope you can share some of it with us here.
Well I think the symptoms, in the modern world are misunderstood. A lot of what we experience on this planet is internal. That is where the dragons are slew. Im still learning how the platform works. I have some songs videos, poems to post so stay tuned. x
Looks like you already figured out one part, worthwhile discussion.
Of course a lot of what we experience is internal.
As Rene Descarte said "I think, therefore I am.", or the equivalent in French. Our entire reality is created by us. Even if you don't go so far as to consider reality an illusion, our perception of it often is. We read into things, interpret what happens, to react to it. It's how we survive. But it's not perfect, and occasionally can fuck up. Maybe you think some friend is mad at you, but they're really just going through their own shit.
It's a common occurrence in life. If you can pull yourself back, and try to be more of an observer, you'll start to see how much people are really reacting to their own narrative, rather than the actual story.
And people are fucking crazy. Like, a lot of them.
Yeah, the learning that all of this experience is internal, is both liberating and limiting. I came to the conclusion that it was all an illusion, but in that moment I learnt that we should appreciate the mirage and the chaos offered to us, for it is a gift! The struggles are often where the treasure lies.
Its hard not to try and make sense of 'it' and project our stories outwards.
"Maybe you think some friend is mad at you, but they're really just going through their own shit."
Its funny we when we begin to think about that, we are all just running around lost in our own shit. Even when you think you've got it all sussed out - Your still in your own shit. x
https://dsound.audio/#/@samcook/l-a-w-silver-screen