The sole purpose of this is to show those of you who are struggling that anything is possible no matter how low you may feel.
To start this off I would like to say thank you to anybody taking the time to read this and I sincerely appreciate any support. I chose to remain anonymous due to the fact that this is going to get very personal.
Im the kid whos parents divorced before I could walk, it left me feeling a certain way that is almost impossible to explain. My story isnt unique in the sense that around 40% of marriages end in a divorce, but to me it wasnt just a statistic. Seeing my mom crying all the time and struggle to support me and my sister was something I will never forget. It was forged into my head at a young age that I wouldnt't live like this and that when I got older I would give my mom the world. My situation left me feeling anxious in any social situation, I had friends but only a few who I grew comfortable to be around. Throughout my school years I would fake illnesses a lot because my anxiety was so bad and in sports I didn't excel because I always felt different then other kids. I realized at a young age that I exceled when I was alone and doing what I wanted to be doing.
In my small Canadian town of around fifty thousand people the drinking age is more like 15 so I was introduced to the world of alcohol at a young age, to me this was a game changer. I became in love with the feeling that alcohol gave me, the care free effect that it gave me allowed me to get passed my anxiety and feel invincible. Dont get me wrong everybody my age where I lived drank, but my friends and I just began to take it to the next level. I kept having to drink more and more to get the desired effects that my body craved. I was at the point where drinking 30oz or more of liquor a night and blacking out wasnt abnormal at all. When I was in grade 12 my girlfriend of 3 years who I was deeply in love with slept with one of my friends and broke my heart into a million pieces, I havent been the same since. I felt like I died that day. My emotions were non existent and I turned to drugs. I began smoking weed like I needed it to save my life, I could never smoke enough. It got so bad that I went to the hospital because I thought one of lungs collapsed. I was a state and I hated myself. I lost most of my weight and continued down this path while I was in university, I was never sober, my main concern was getting high. I didn't care about what my family or anybody else thought. I was hooked on online gambling, I was up a few thousand dollars one night and at that time that was like gold to me. I ended up losing it all later on that night.
As you can imagine at this point my family was extremely worried about me and my future after watching me become what I now was, I still feel like some of my family judges me but they dont understand my situation, what I have seen or what I have been through.
Deep inside my dreams were still alive but they felt so far out of reach, I was constantly stressed out and worrying. There was a few major turning points in my life. I will never forget waking up in my bed with no clothes on and blood all over myself lying there with no memory of what happened the night before. I knew I had to make a change soon or eventually it would come to the point where I wouldn't wake up.
I quit drinking shortly after this although I was known around my town as the party guy, I didn't want to be that guy ever again. I wanted to make my family proud and more importantly make myself proud.
I tried mushrooms with a couple of my close friends after doing some research on them and reading some stories about how they can help relieve depression and allow you to have insightful thoughts. That was the night that my life truly changed. That night I saw myself for who I truly was. I do not encourage anybody to do any drugs but for me this was my turning point. I went into my trip with my mind set on learning and that is what I did. This was about 4 months ago and my life has taken a complete 180 degree turn. The thoughts that came to me that night were exactly what I needed.
I now only do what I believe is best for myself no matter what anybody else thinks, my whole family begged me to continue my degree and get a normal job but I refused. I never wanted to work for anybody else so I never will, I got into affiliate marketing and shortly after I discovered cryptocurrencies.
Life is too short to do anything other then what you believe is best for yourself.
Im not rich and im not financially free but I dont hate myself anymore and im on my way to making my dreams come true.
I made this account to share my progress with this community and to show you that no matter how bad your circumstance is and no matter how bad you feel about yourself you can rise out of it and make a comeback. Im not perfect but im doing the best that I can, we are all human and we make mistakes.
Im going to make a post atleast once a week to give you a story from my past or to give you an update with how my progress is going.
Thanks so much for reading my introduction, I really appreciate any support.
"Integrate your failures into achieving your dreams"