I was working as a server in Telluride Colorado in mid-2014 when I began to notice my grip loosening. I was suddenly having trouble picking up plates, holding onto saucers and gripping just about anything. It was a strange thing, as at the time I was in the best shape of my life at 27.
During summers I was hiking and mountain biking, and in the winter shredding the Telluride slopes on my snowboard. Things worsened physically for me, and after seeing several doctors and specialists I eventually received the unfortunate diagnosis of ALS.
Nearly 3 years has passed since I first began experiencing symptoms, time in which my physical function has continued to decline, but during this time I’ve also gained a lot of perspective from living with ALS. There are actually many gifts that this experience has given me. Now don’t get me wrong, ALS is a terrible disease with challenges aplenty, and unfortunately it takes a heavy toll on family members and friends as well. But those things are not the purpose of this first post. What I’d like to focus on instead is some of the benefits that the experience of living with ALS has offered me. I’d like to turn things upside down a little and give some insight on the ways that ALS is actually been a gift in my life.
But first i’d like to formally introduce myself. My name is Ryan Farnsworth and this is my first Steemit post. I love the idea of the platform, and the kind of community and ecosystem that Steemit seems to offer. I’m now 30 years old, living with my mom and stepfather who help me with the things I can no longer do (which is quite a lot these days, but I will get into that in another post.)
I love writing and within the past year I self published an uplifting book of poems entitled Seeds of Light Sown which is available on Amazon. I also had the amazing opportunity to take a month-long trip to India in which I was able to teach impoverished children math and English. Without a doubt it was one of the most fulfilling and awesome trips of my life! Alright, so without further ado here are a few of the things I’ve learned to appreciate during the process of living with ALS.
The Advantages of Living with ALS
- Enhanced appreciation. Most of my life I’ve sort of been floating through, without a whole lot of purpose and often times without a whole lot of enjoyment. But you know that saying: “you don’t know what you had till it’s gone?” Well at one point or another most of us have a certain invulnerability complex, especially earlier in life when we were young and fearless. Bad things that happen to other people don’t register as possibilities for us so much because there’s no way that will ever happen to me. Well for me that thing happened, and it happened to be called ALS. And when all of the sudden that diagnosis hit me the world seemed to matter a little bit more. Flowers seemed brighter, the world itself seemed more colorful and vivid, and all of it seemed more precious now that my future experience of it all was uncertain. The ironic thing is that the world hadn’t changed at all, I had. I began to think about all of the awesome things in this life that I didn’t want to live without, and that has truly been a blessing for me because it showed me what’s really important.
- Cutting through the Bullshit. When the future of your very existence in this lifetime comes into question a lot of things that may have taken up a lot of time before cease to seem important. I began to see through life’s trivialities and petty dramas, the stupid things that we end up caring about and pretending are important. And things that before I had not given enough attention to like family now took a front seat as my heart expanded in new appreciation for life I began to see that life isn’t about how much money you make, or what you own. It isn’t about social status or what others think of you. It really comes down to just a few things that are truly important: love, joy, and peace.Sometimes those words don’t have a whole lot of meaning because of how broad in scope they are. But what I began to realize and what I continue to experience throughout this journey is that cultivating those three things in life are what truly make it all worthwhile.So ALS has taught me to simplify my understanding of life, cut through all of the bullshit and distractions and do my best to get to the core of experiencing what is really important.
- Free time! When you find out that you may be dying from a terminal illness, the world doesn’t expect much from you anymore. So in the beginning, and still to this day it’s kind of awesome not having any responsibilities. I used to make up excuses for why I didn’t meditate enough, write more, take better care of my body.But now I have the time to focus on what really matters for me, a lot of time in fact! And sure a lot of this free time has been spent trying to process this new life predicament, thinking about life-and-death, and in processing the reality of this situation. A lot of time was spent in emotional processing, in stages of grief, or walking a tight rope with fear on one side and hope on the other.After all, ALS isn’t something that hits you all at once but a process of becoming used to change. It isn’t something that you can conquer in the mind and get used to because it’s ever-changing along with declining physical function. With each new thing I can’t do on my own anymore, every time I reach a new level of reduced function, It is necessary to find acceptance.I understand that we can’t fight what is happening, in life for to fight against reality is madness. But what I can do is strive to find solutions, and much of my time has been spent doing just that. Doing research on ALS and its mechanisms of action, finding supplements that may make a difference to improve my health, talking to doctors and naturopaths trying to find innovative solutions; these have all been things that took up my ample free time and keep me busy.And truly, I’ve been grateful to have the free time during this life challenge. It has helped me to stay focused on what matters rather than have to get caught up in the dance of the world. And I’m not separate from the world, but at times this journey feels like an incubation in which I am finding myself and giving myself the love necessary to heal.It’s a time in which I can’t necessarily do all the things needed to take care of myself physically on my own, but I can do my best to take care myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
- The best part of gaining this kind of learning and growth while experiencing a terminal illness is that I don’t believe it will be terminal at all. I’ve had this feeling in my heart since the beginning that this is not my time to go. The ups and downs of going through this experience have certainly shaken my belief in healing at times, but my guidance is telling me that the universe and God are in the process of weaving together a reality in which I return to wellness.I can almost feel the doubt of certain people who may read this; people that understand that to this point ALS has no known cure. But truth be told I don’t care what anyone thinks because I hold my own truth within. I could of course be wrong, and if I am I will do my best to live this life in a way that honors myself and my family and all of the beauty that is in this world.But what a gift to be able to experience such a challenge is this. At the age of 30 to have faced death in order to more greatly understand the value of life, and to carry these lessons with me into the world. What a gift to be able to get a second chance at life and do my best to in some small way make a positive difference in this world.Thank you for reading this first Steemit post. I intend to make this blog a bit of a mishmash of many topics ranging from ALS to spirituality to poetry, and perhaps other topics. It feels good to have an outlet to express myself once again. And I hope to make new friends here and look forward to connecting with you on Steemit.
With Love,
Ryan
Welcome to Steemit Ryan. Stephen
Thanks so much Stephen :)
Welcome to Steemit, Ryan :) I love your outlook on life! I've gone through my own version of living with a chronic illness and can relate to everything you've said. I look forward to following you!
Thanks so much @goldenroom! I have found that people living with chronic illness like us have so much perspective on life. Maybe it's because with profound challenge there is also a lot of learning and growth! I'm wishing you the best with your health, and thanks for reading :)
Welcome to Steemi! 👋🏼 I'm fairly new here and still trying to find out more about the cool platform. Happy to see that you are enjoying all things in life. 🌿 I have done a lot of reading online about chronic disease and what I found is that if a person is not born with a disease, it is most likely caused by an introduction of some toxin or the person having trouble with their gut not absorbing nutrients properly and being allergic to food items. If you've ever been vaccinated or have had silver coloured amalgam fillings put into your teeth, you may try to look into heavy metals chelation protocols that detox the heavy metal like Mercury in your dental fillings and the dangerous amounts of mercury plus aluminum added to almost all vaccines. I've read people who have had Fibromyalgia reverse their disease with heavy metal chelation plus a good organic raw foods diet. By the way, never, never detox heavy metals from your body if you still have any amalgam fillings in your teeth as this will pull more toxic heavy metals from your teeth into your body and they will reimmbed into muscles throughout your body even back into the brain where it will do most damage ( Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, Dementia, Fibromyalgia, Autism, Eczema, Colitis, Chronic Fatigue syndrome and even ALS.
Good health to you, sir! 🎈 OOP! I forgot, please consider watching 'The Truth About Vaccines, you will be shocked at all the chronic diseases they create in the body. I hope you can 'reverse' your ALS ⬇️
Thank you Yoona! Thank you for your research and kind words. I have also looked into the issue of mercury toxicity and other toxins and a good part of what I'm doing has to do with detoxing my body. Thankfully I never had amalgam fillings, but unfortunately I have been injected with a lot of vaccines before I knew how bad they were!
The funny thing about modern medicine is that they don't even know what causes ALS are really what it is. All they know is some of the symptoms that go along with it. I am confident that through my research and my spiritual/meditation approach healing is possible. Thank you again :)
@groundrising You are very welcome. I believe doctors give names or labels to symptoms that categorize it under a disease but most likely they are the same disease in one. Again, I wish you a speedy recover and take care. 🎈
⬆️ OOP! I forgot, please consider watching 'The Truth About Vaccines' , you will be as shocked as I on the many chronic diseases vaccines create in the human body . I hope you can reverse you disease. The Truth About Vaccines LINK
One of my customers died from that after i framed her house-i wonder now want she was thinking when it was going on she never shared that with me. For me it was sad because she had a new house but not much time to enjoy it.
Thanks for sharing Bradley. It is a tough experience at times, and even though I'm learning a lot it will be nice when a cure is found so people don't have to go through this kind of difficulty. It's really challenging for loved ones of ALS as well!
Welcome to Steemit!
Hey thanks man, glad to be here!
Welcome! What a post to start with. Inspiring, that you can find joy in times like these, but your points make perfect sense. You're the champ!
I really appreciate that @arsenal49. Thanks so much for reading man. I learned early on with all of this stuff how easy it is to get bogged down in negative mental attitudes and it simply doesn't feel good, so I do my best to have an outlook that's positive and it seems to fit much better. I appreciate the kind words man!
Welcome to steemit. This is a place where people from all over the world come together. You will find comfort in this community, as no one cares about color, or religion. This is a wonderful place to express yourself. I wish you well with this difficult journey, and I hope you will enjoy the ride just like we are!
Thanks! Is it glass half full or glass half empty? Aw, who cares! It's a beautiful glass :)
Hello Ryan, welcome to Steem! :-)
Thanks gtg :)
Glad to see you here! I suggest you read this piece on one famous als patient:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1123440/
Wish you well and sure you can waste all the time in the world chasing virtual money;-)
Thanks funkit! Stephen Hawking is definitely an inspiring story! Modern medicine definitely has some catching up to do when it comes to an understanding of disease mechanisms. About chasing virtual money, it is kind of fun! Steemit makes Facebook just seem pointless lol
True! On both points.
Look forward to it! Welcome
Thank you! :)
Hi Ryan, I read every jot of your post and loved it. It's very positive and encouraging. You have a great mind, man. Looking forward to more of pieces. One love!
One love! What a great community this is. Happy to be a part of it!
Welcome. You have a nice attitude. Are you familiar with Anthony William, the Medical Medium? http://www.medicalmedium.com He has success in healing people with ALS. Detox is a major component. Info (blog) is free on his site, he has a couple books out, too. You're a beautiful soul.
Thank you, I have not heard of Anthony William, but I'm certainly open to all healing possibilities. I have come to appreciate the value of alternative medicine and alternative schools of thought. thank you for the recommendation :) Namaste!
Welcome to Steemit! What an inspiring story! Thank you!
Thank you pyrowngs, much appreciated :)
Hello and thanks for writing this beautiful post! I really think it is inspiring that you manage to find joy in these tough times! I sincerely hope you maintain your positive outlook! Welcome to Steemit!
Thank you! I truly appreciate it :)
Hey Ryan. Welcome to steemit and thank you for sharing your story. I have been born with a physical disability and I know that feeling when you stop caring about your diagnosis. I just recently had the epiphany that a diagnosis is just a category other people give you. It mostly gives them a way to deal with diversity but it should not limit the individual. So I am challenging all my beliefs and boundaries and really growing.
I just clicked the follow button and am looking forward to reading more of you. Especially your poetry for I write poems myself.
You can find my latest poem here.
Nice to have you on board! Follow me at https://steemit.com/@bitgeek
You are an inspiration Ryan! Thank you for being so transparent. Our testimony's change people and help us not to feel alone when we face trials of any kind.
Thoroughly enjoyed you post and hope all is well on your end. I thought you might appreciate this story. A friend of mine just ran across the country to raise awareness for ALS.
https://steemit.com/life/@crypt0clown/a-run-across-the-country-3-000-miles-in-100-days-for-als
The year 2014 . . . Good neither for you nor me! I'm Natalie, and it is absolutely beautiful to meet a comrade in this battle to be rid of our stupid disease. I shall read your writing and share my own. Be well, Ryan
Wellcome bro...
Thank you. Truly glad to be here.