A Toast To Eccentric @mayib As She Flies 5000km From Her Own Continent Into The Steemit Community With Broken Wings

"I was named 'Mary' at birth and go by this name on the outside world. But here in the Steemit community, I go by the name @mayib which has no meaning as it is yet to be added to the 'Webster Dictionary' after so many written requests to the 'director' of 'Webster' who is based in Antarctica.

But since I'm being instigated by my idle mind to keep on trying until @mayib finds a way to be listed in the 'Webster Dictionary', I am going to do so because I am strong willed, determined and a goal-getter. This is why in my entrepreneurship journey, I’ve failed a thousand times and willing to try a million times more because I buried the word ‘given up’ in an unidentified cemetery in far away China." (@mayib, 2018).

Oh my dear STEEMIT FAMILY! Pardon me for not saying hi earlier on. My long journey actually took a toll on me after flying a very long distance from 'my continent' into the Steemit community. As a matter of fact, I began the journey on 11th April 2018 as seen on the sign in the picture, and it took me six days to arrive the Steemit community today, the 16th of April 2018 at EST 1:PM. As if that was not enough, I lost my memory and have just found it loitering in my handbag. But I must confess that it feels so great to finally get to meet you on my ‘#introduce yourself’ post. I must confess again, that I am delighted to be a part of this community and it feels so wonderful to have you all throw me a ‘virtual welcoming party’ without a DJ present and the cake missing. So without further blabbing, let’s get the party started.

@mayib flies into the Steemit community.

My journey into the Steemit community:

I first heard about #Steemit on a public forum and all the people talked about was ‘Whales', ‘Dolphins', and ‘Minnows’. And I thought, either these people were speaking in ‘Tongues', 'Spanish', or 'French', since I didn’t understand one word of what they whole rave reviews was about.

But being the curious person that I am, and always wanting to explore more, I decided to grab my bathing suit, took my fishing net and dived into the Steemit community ocean. And what did I find? A community filled with people of intellects who are also philanthropists. I also discovered that in the Steemit community, all the people do is give, share, and give some more!

But not to worry because you have in your midst another giver who is also willing to give, share, and give it all! And you should know that I don’t just give, I do it generously. So here in this community, I would add value by posting contents on #LIFE, #HUMOR, #POEMS, #PHOTOGRAPHY and some useful random topics. So watch out for me as #mayibtalks.

I'd like to reiterate that I'm ready to commit to this awesome community however I can, and I really want the Steemit community to feel my presence to a greater extent.
On this note, feel free to holla at me for little favors that is within my power to execute, and I would gladly oblige without hesitation.

A peep into my early Life:

I don’t remember much about my earlier years because I had some not too pleasant experiences. So what I did was blot out these experiences permanently from my memory. I still practice this up to this very moment. I call it the ‘psychology of moving on in life'. I erase memories I don’t want to remember, and I do this by simply forgetting them. It may not be the best formula, but it is what it is, and I am not complaining, but rather having fun with it.

Now that I am an adult:

I live for the moment, think of the present, and prepare a resting place for the past. As for the future, I think it is here in this community;and that is why I’m still waiting for my round of applause from my fellow Steemians. So I want to reiterate that if I don't it within the next minute, then prepare for your well deserved 'gifts'.

A minute has passed and your time is up! Now, I'm going to give you all a gift for denying me my 'round of applause'. I will present each of the ‘Whales’ a gift by sending them 5 spanks via email, the ‘Dolphins’ will receive 2 head knocks via SMS, and as for the 'Minnows', well………..I will let them decide how they want me to package their 'gift smacks'. Why? Because as a kind person, I love giving people room to decide. As a matter of fact, I am the kindest person in the continent where I live, and it may interest you to know that I am the only one who actually lives there.

Permit me to sing about my unique qualities/characteristics:

Until now, @mayib lived in her own continent and is still trying to acclimatize to the Steemit community by posting some comments here and there for the past few days. It may interest you to know that just like all humans, @mayib has some unique qualities/characteristics which distinguishes herself from others.

So sit back and pour yourself a glass of wine as @mayib takes you through her life toasting with a half glass of water since wine is very expensive nowadays.

@mayib shares a toast with the Steemian family.

I am an extroverted-introvert:

I may not be the life and soul of the party, but I'm definitely not the killjoy that orders water instead of wine and makes everyone gloomy. I may be an introvert, but I'm also outgoing and sure know how to socialize whenever I'm in the mood. Sometimes, I like to go out there and have fun;just like I'm doing with you right now by telling you the 'story of my life'. I've already started this story with the genesis of it all, and would most likely end it with lots, and lots of revelations.

I am a tokophobic:

Yeah….. I have primary tokophobia, and I don't feel embarrassed to say it loud and clear. But in case you forgot your ears in your apartment, and didn't come with it to the party, I want to lend you mine so you can hear me correctly: "I am a tokophobic." But being a tokophobic does not weigh me down at all. I love who I am and I am proud of myself!

I am a professional daydreamer:

Little wonder I get to drive the best cars and live in the best houses only in my dreams. In my daydreams, I have met with all of my favorite celebrities and have traveled to almost all cities on the seven continents.

Daydreaming is actually like a hobby for me and it is what keeps me going. I also have an assembly of casts in my daydreams and if you want me to feature you in my next day dream, just hit me up and I will feature you on the house.

A picture showing @mayib in her daydreaming state.

I have a dry sense of humor:

Yeah, you heard right! But in case all you have are 'counterfeit ears' which made you not to hear me the first time, I will buy you all original ears. So I'm repeating myself again, but this time with a ‘made in Jupiter’ customized microphone so you can hear me even if you're in far away China: “I have a dry sense of humor"!

Disappointed that I want to share my humor sense with you? But hey, you shouldn’t be! Isn't the Steemit community all about sharing? So prepare to accept whatever I have to offer since I am a giver who derives pleasure in sharing.

But hey! Let me make a confession. Just promise me you won't tell the "Minnows" about it. Actually, my 'dry sense of humor' used to be wet, but since no one would use them, I decided to sun dry them in the scotching sun in far away Africa and now I'm ready to share some of them with you free of charge.
So get your cutlery ready because @mayib is ready to dish them out to you as breakfast, lunch and dinner, and without salt, pepper or flavor.

@mayib flaunts her fake diamond ring.

I am very loyal:

My watchword is loyalty! Even though this quality has made me lose out on so many things in life, I am not about to give it up because I don’t even know where it is. In fact, so loyal I am that I promise my Nokia 3310 phone that I won’t be disclosing it’s model name to fellow Steemians.

The good news is, I'm sticking to that damn promise! But if you want to know more about this so called anonymous Nokia 3310 of mine, please visit www.mindyourbusiness.com. I promise you that the page will take ‘4 ever’ years to load, if only you can exercise some patience.

I am not very patient:

So much that when I waited for two days, 48 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds and one moment to get my Steemit account approved, I thought a decade had passed and the whole Steemit community had migrated to Mars.

But regardless, I’m working on my patience, and I hope to achieve some certain level of it because I'm aware you need patience to strive in this community or else you will drown in the Steemit community ocean.

I am very bold and vocal:

I am the type of woman that can look the president of ‘Antarctica’ in the face and tell him to go to hell if he knows the way. So vocal and bold that I reprimanded the founders of this community after my account approval was delayed.
I told them….. “Look……. @ned or @dan, or should I address you both as sirs? I have something to tell you both that I've been wanting to say since I was born; but now that I'm an adult, I want to say it to your face because I ain't scared of you both. I want to say to you that I am very, very, very, ……………….thankful to you for making me a member of this great community, and I look forward to more interactions with you as we swim together in one ocean.”

But until this moment, I have not received a response from them because they’re so scared to look me in the eye.
That's why I am boldly challenging them to speak up if they’re positive they ain’t scared, or remain silent if they know they are.

I am so damn unpredictable:

I could be on the plane to the USA and decide to make a u-turn to the UK. But I love that part about myself because it makes my life more interesting.

I once decided to stroll to heaven and on the way, I changed my mind and decided to stop by hell so I could take a picture of the devil. As soon as the devil saw me, he locked the gate and placed a sign that reads “I receive only permanent guests here because I hate losing my investment. Temporary and unpredictable guests like @mayib, please keep off because hell is not a place for you. I don't want you changing your mind and applying for a green card to heaven thereafter."

I got really pissed, looked the devil in the eye and barked at him with my eyes. Guess what I told him;.......... nothing.

I am very Understanding and sensitive to people’s emotions:

So sensitive that I know right now you must be feeling bored with the ‘story of my life’. But just exercise a little patience as I have a hundred more pages to wrap it up. I actually wanted to make it two hundred, but being the understanding person that I am, I changed my mind and summarised it to just a hundred. (pauses)

Or should I make it five hundred? Okay, let’s do it this way and vote on the number of pages for this ‘#introduction' post. But before we do, you’ve to present your valid voters card to me by calling me with the number on the card.

If I miss the call, then it’s probably because I don’t have your contact on my phone. So please fellow Steemians, just forward your contact to my phone right now. The name of my phone is Nokia 3310. It is black in color, fairly used, with a black cover. I have had the phone since I was a kid and... and.... okay, if I remember more details about the phone, I'll let you know if only you would agree to feature in one of my daydreams.

Am I a social media freak?

Number of friends: 197

Link to my Facebook account: https://www.facebook.com/may.ojile

Is mayib on Instagram and Twitter?

I used to have two and a half followers on both accounts. In case you're lost, in my opinion, two humans and a robot makes two and a half followers. I got frustrated and decided to close both accounts, then I sent the keys to my sis who is based on earth.

Interests:

I love anything that is interesting. But my core interests are #Film Making, #Screenplay Writing and #Photography.

Hobbies:

I love singing in my bathroom and always refer to myself as a ‘bathroom singer’. But I can also do outdoor singing and if you want me to sing for you, then come to my apartment and book me. I will be waiting for you in my sleep tonight…..tonight…..tonight….tonight…..

Life’s goal:

As an aspiring entrepreneur who deals in consumer goods marketing, my goal is to become a ‘Manufacturing Multi Billionaire Entrepreneur’, so I can create more job opportunities for the people in my community.
But don’t get it twisted as the term ‘Multi Billionaire’ is relative. To me it means, ‘adding value to society by my positive actions and contributions'. According to me, any billionaire who isn’t contributing positively to society is just a billionaire in his dictionary.

Fears/General characteristics:

Even though I am determined to achieve my life’s goals, my pessimistic side keeps ganging up with an inner thought that always sings to me in a crooked voice saying: “@mayib, you will fail again." But I always sing back to the voice saying: “sing in French because I don’t understand English”.

It may also interest you to know that I am flippant and don’t like taking things too seriously. I know I am also a weirdo and sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself. “@mayib, who really are you”?

One day, I asked myself that question and heard the ‘devil’ say: “Come to my house tonight and I will tell you who you are." Well, guess what I told the devil: "Go to hell”! And the 'devil' replied: “I'm already there. All I need is a weirdo like you to keep me company."

I've been called names by some busy bodies:

I have been labeled names such as ‘loner’, ‘Margaret Thatcher’…… etc. A loner? Hell no! How could I possibly be alone when I always have my two hands, legs and eyes with me? And now I have my wonderful fellow Steemians with me.

Margaret Thatcher? Well.... maybe, because I can be very tough at times. I see myself as a ‘one woman army' and can ‘stand against the world’. I also don’t believe in following the crowd, but I believe things are about to change right now because I am going to 'do in Steemit, what the Steemians are doing'.

@mayib looking serious.

But wait a minute! Don’t you think it’s time to wrap this up? But how would you know that when all you’ve been doing all day, afternoon and night is read my ‘gibberish’ post that adds no meaning to your life. (sobs)

But regardless, I promise you that next time, my post will be better and you will feel my presence in this community. Even though I may go blank at times and forget my promises, this time it will be different as I will imprint my Steemit duties, dos and don'ts on my fake eyelashes so it doesn’t get stolen.

So fellow Steemians, watch this space as #mayibtalks because I believe we’re going to have lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots…………. of fun together.
The ‘fun’ we would be having together is actually up to a million in number, but I was able to write just one because my pen got stuck in the Steemit community ocean, and I am still searching for it. If you find the pen, bring it to my apartment, and for your reward, you will get a smack on the face for finding what isn't yours.

So cheers once again fellow Steemians and have a Steemitful day!!! #mayibtalks