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What do you call a dead magician?
An abra-cadaver.

Credit: marshmellowman
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Have you heard about the Angel of Death that’s not so intelligent?
The Dim Reaper?

Credit: reddit
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.

Credit: reddit
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Apparently adding herbs to your garbage can makes it smell better.
But I don't have thyme for that rubbish.

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