I considered going my own way, after a horrible divorce, where I found out the state would pay my ex more in child support if she never let me see them. Zero custody or shared time. Who thought of that?
At that point, I was pretty sure I would never allow the state into my personal relationships, that's for sure. If people care about each other, then fine, if they don't, sick the dogs of the state on the father... Not fair, not balanced, no recourse that's not easily sabotaged.
Just never get married, live together, make a contract maybe. If the kids are yours, you will have to pay for them, so no getting around that part, unless you move off shore.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Your insight is very important for younger men that still don't understand just how badly the legal system is weighted against them!
In some countries living together can legally be seen as almost some sort of marriage. Contracts can be dismissed by courts. It's all fucked up.