Ok, so I do this... start a profile somewhere... and then abandon it for a while because I don't know what to share.
Where do I begin?
Who am I?
Alright, here's where I'll start... my identity.
I'm dark-gray asexual, demi-romantic, non-binary, mostly androgynous, gender-fluid human being.
It took me years to figure that out,
decades, actually.
I started out thinking I was a heterosexual female.
But then I realized that didn't really fit.
So I thought I was bisexual?
Or maybe pansexual?
Or maybe lesbian?
But those didn't really fit either.
The problem, I eventually realized, is that I rarely feel sexually attracted to anyone.
I feel intellectually attracted,
Emotionally attracted,
Sometimes romantically attracted.
But sexual attraction?
Not so much.
Hardly ever, actually.
I think people, lots of people, are asthetically pleasing, handsome and beautiful even.
But that's not the same as being sexually attracted to them,
Not even close.
I think was sexually attracted to my ex-husband,
And two, perhaps three, of my ex-partners.
I fell in love with them.
Sex was a part of the relationship.
I know I was intellectually, emotionally, and romantically attracted to them,
To all of my partners,
Very much so.
But I don't know about actual sexual attraction.
What becomes really awkward is when straight men assume you're sexually interested in them because you're intellectually and/or emotionally interested in them.
You want to build a meaningful connection with them, preferably without sex.
But many men (not all) seem incapable of building a meaningful connection unless sex is involved.
Even then, many men (not all) still seem to have difficulty building a meaningful connection.
And then, some men don't want to build a meaningful connection at all.
To them, you're a booty call.
You're a female body to fuck.
It's best to avoid these men.
It's different with women.
Straight, lesbian, bi, pan, or whatever...
You can be intellectually and emotionally interested in them.
They can be intellectually and emotionally interested in you.
And (usually) there's no pressure to have sex.
You just become really good friends.
Close friends.
Best friends.
The only time it becomes awkward is if you begin to feel romantic attachment,
If you begin to fall in love,
If you begin to desire companionship.
(This holds true for all close platonic friendships, male or female.)
Most people believe that,
In order to be in a romantic relationship,
In order to fall in love,
In order to be companions,
You have to be sexually involved.
There is very little room in our culture for platonic romance and companionship,
And that saddens me.
Anyway, moving along...
Now, onto my non-binary, mostly androgynous, gender-fluidity...
Most of the time I don't feel like I'm any gender.
I don't feel feminine.
I don't feel masculine.
I mean, what are feminine and masculine anyway?
For the most part, to me, they feel like cultural constructs and stereotypes.
I really don't care which pronouns people use to address me.
I mean, I've been referred to as she/her for all my life (and I'm a Gen-Xer).
I didn't even realize there are other options until a few years ago.
The only time my gender-fluidity becomes an issue is when people,
Usually men,
But sometimes women,
Expect me to behave a certain way,
Or try to box me into a certain stereotype based on the genitalia of the body I inhabit.
That becomes frustrating at times.
Like the assumption that because you inhabit a female body, you must enjoy shopping, makeup, jewelry, or the color pink.
Or that you're incapable of reading a map, assembling a piece of furniture, fixing an appliance, or building a fire.
Even when I identified as a woman,
This kind of crap was frustrating.
If I could change anything about my body,
Would I?
Downstairs, no.
Upstairs, yes.
I wish my chest were smaller,
A lot smaller.
Not completely flat,
But like an A cup,
Surgery's expensive tho.
I'd also like to drop 40-50 pounds,
And keep it off.
That's the tricky part.
It'd be doable if I can stop the emotional eating,
Which has been a problem for me lately.
I should also exercise more.
More importantly,
I think I should love myself more.
I tried coming out on social media a few years ago, on Facebook.
It didn't go so well.
Someone asked a few awkward questions, which I awkwardly answered.
Someone said we're all human beings and we should stop labeling ourselves.
Someone became highly offended and unfriended me after leaving a nasty comment.
So I deleted the post,
And didn't post anything else for a long time.
So I'm going to come out on Steemit! and see what happens...
Me, on the train home after a windy day out and about.
(P.S. Yes, I'm on MeWe too. Been trying out different platforms because I want to migrate away from Facebook.)
welcome to steemit @t-lab :)
Thanks (:
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Thanks for this completely open, honest and vulnerable introduction @t-lab! WOWW!! You really set the bar high!!!!!
I know you will find wonderful community here on the Steem Blockchain!!! And the best way to find your tribe, is by doing exactly what you did here, being REAL AS F!!!!
Thank you for the warm reply, @lyndsaybowes. So far the community has been very welcoming. It's an honor to meet you. Peace (:
welcome, @t-lab! it's a very nice post you wrote! :)
Hi @t-lab! Welcome to Steemit community!
Thanks @soly (:
hey nice to meet you, i am in NZ and i hope you have fun on steemit
steem on
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It's an honor to meet you too, @kiwiscanfly.
You are in good company here my friend - you will find your way as we all must - one statement rang more true than any of the labels and that was
If you got love for yourself you tend to go easier on yourself. The shit we say to ourselves can be more damaging than what any damaged societal constraints can put on us.
Brave first post - I shall resteem so that you might meet more like minded fellows.
Thank you. You're spot on with everything you said. It's an honor to meet you and so many like minded individuals. Peace (:
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YAY you posted! This is probably the best intro post I've ever read, my friend. Welcome to Steemit! <3
Hi Phe! (: Yep, I finally posted, lol. And thanks, I needed to get all of that out of my mind, and since I don't really know anyone yet (except for you), I thought I'd start there. So far, the community seems very accepting and kind. <3
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A really interesting and well written introduction post @t-lab. Far too many people in this world want to label people based on their views of what is 'normal'.
It's great that you have puzzled out how you feel about these things in a society which can push a very narrow perspective on people, especially in the media. Anyway, your honesty is refreshing :)
P.s. I entered a competition by @misslasvegas referencing your post as the best new introduction post I had read.
It's called Spread-the-love-contest and I made a post to enter which you can read here if you fancy. I really hope we win, if we do it is 15 steem each for 1st place.
You have to learn how to love yourself before you can open up and fully love others. Now that you know who you really are it shouldn't be hard to make small steps towards progress. You seem like a truly awesome person by the way, never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Thank you, fellow awesome person. It's an honor to meet you.
Welcome T-lab
Great to have you on Steemit! You are a new Steemian now! I saw your introduction just now and its nice to meet you.
I loved the passage :
Alright, here's where I'll start... my identity.
I'm dark-gray asexual, demi-romantic, non-binary, mostly androgynous, gender-fluid human being.
Really honesr
Blogging, building and uplifting eachother thats what its all about on this steemit blockchain. And you could earn money too. When money is involved There are also possibilities of being hacked so always be carefull with all your passwords, Never give those up !!
For more safety tips visit the white paper.
For quick posting use the app Partiko.
The Steemify App I use is great, it is available in the Appstore and free, go cheque it out. https://steemit.com/busy/@exyle/using-steemify-to-stay-up-to-date-about-the-blockchain-like-project-destiny-please-consider-blockbrothers-for-your-witness-vote
Your value and input is appreciated!
Good luck with your journey and may you find what you are looking for.
Just remember that all good things come in good time and never giving up is the key to big succes on Steemit.
Let me know if this was helpfull or you need more help. I am here everyday !
Greetings from Brittandjosie from the Netherlands
Hi @brittandjosie. Thank you for the warm welcome and the helpful tips! So far, this seems like an amazing community. Peace (:
Did you try Steemify ? Its very usefull
No, I haven't. Is it available for Android?
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Not yet sorry 😬
@t-lab how is the steemit journey going?
Seriously awesome post. I loved your openness and vulnerability- very inspiring. So yeah, the part about fitting in, with all the expectations of identifying in such a binary way was well articulated. As @artwatch said, you're in great company!
Thank you. I just said what was on my mind and in my heart. That's what we all do, in one way or another. It's good to be in great company. Peace (:
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Welcome t-lab!
eSteem is the application that improves your experience here. We have Mobile application for Android and iOS users. We also have developed Surfer Desktop application that helps you to gain new followers and stay connected with your friends, unique features - notifications, bookmarks, favorites, drafts, and more.
We reward our users with encouragement upvotes as well as monthly giveaways rewarding Spotlight top users and active Discord users.
Learn more: https://esteem.app
Join our discord: https://discord.gg/8eHupPq
Welcome to Steem t-lab! Partiko is officially the fastest and most popular mobile app for Steem. Unlike other Steem apps, we take 0% cut of your earnings! You can also be rewarded with Partiko Points while using Partiko and exchange Partiko Points for upvotes!
Partiko for Android can be downloaded here on Google Play and the iOS version is available here on the App Store.
If you have more questions, feel free to join our Discord channel and ask @crypto.talk, we're always here to help!
Thank you so much for your interest!
Welcome to steem community, @t-lab. Just be yourself and you will be fine.
Thanks for the warm welcome, @devann. This seems like a wonderful community to be a part of. I'm overwhelmed (in a good way).
Hey, thanks for following me. Checkout steemsavvy.com if you are still not very familiar with steem & its functionalities.
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Hello @t-lab, Welcome to Steemit
looking forward to seeing more posts from you!
Thank you, @altctrlelia. It's nice to meet you.
Bienvenido ////// Welcome
A crecer follow and be followed ;)
Gracias!
(I don't really know Spanish, but I'm slowly learning.)
Congratulations @t-lab! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
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Welcome to Steemit community , I wish you success
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Thank you (:
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Welcome to Steemit! You have taken the first step in achieving many goals here at the crossroads of cryptocurrencies, blockchain, and social media. Consistent engagement is needed to progress and grow your following and influence. I am currently working on a weekly post to curate new users and providing them an introduction to the ecosystem. I have selected your post as one I will feature in an upcoming post! I explain this initiative on one of my previous post.
There are a number of great content creators on the platform to help you on your journey. I have recently ran into a great post by @roleerob that is great to get off to a great start here on the ecosystem. As I continue to expand this initiative, I continue to find great content and guides for new users such as this post from @finnian who not only includes a great step-by-step process of registering for #Steemit but also provides great security and engagement tips as well to help you on your journey. Another great user creating content for new Steemians is @paulag who is creating community backed video series on learning to navigate STEEM.
Keep your eyes out for these tips and references to help you on your journey to becoming a minnow! It is also a great idea to follow some of the great projects being built on the #STEEM blockchain. You can see these projects here. Some of these projects provide you the ability to interact and engage within the community and have the potential to provide rewards for your engagement. For example, @actifit is a fitness app that tracks your daily activity which you can post to the blockchain and earn rewards for your participation. Another interesting project is @steemmonsters which is a digital trading card game that enables you to collect and battle with the community all within the #STEEM ecosystem.
Lastly, a new initiative has just been launched by one of our top witnesses @gtg to support new users that become very active and need additional bandwidth to remain actively engaged in an effort to build enough Steem Power to grow your influence and interaction in the ecosystem. I would highly encourage you to visit his post for further instructions. I wish you the best in your future endeavors!
Congratulations @t-lab! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click here to view your Board of Honor
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Congratulations @t-lab! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
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Congratulations @t-lab!
Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade for newcomers in the following categories:
I also upvoted your post to increase its reward
If you like my work to promote newcomers and give them more visibility on the Steem blockchain, consider to vote for my witness!
True. Some men can be dogs. Good not to waste time with the wrong crowd. And it is good to have free speech. You look smart. I like photo. Here is an upvote. I'm glad you are here. I'm Oatmeal. I identify as Oatmeal.
Thanks for the upvote, Oatmeal. It's nice to meet you.
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Great post @t-lab
.. tons of honesty. It is appreciated..
Thank you.
Hi @t-lab! You were entered in a contest I came up with by @raj808. It is very nice to meet you. He knew what he was doing! I appreciate your raw honesty. This is what Steemit is all about: just be you, that's all anyone ever needs to be. I hope you'll love it here as much as I do.
There is more to read about my contest in the post here.
If @raj808 wins, you win! So I wish you luck with the contest, and I hope to see a lot more of you around the Steem blockchain!
Steem on!