I am a nobody; I have no importance in general nor do I have any authority over another.
A ghost; I am never seen unless I desire to be seen.
But who am I?
I was born shortly before the 21st century, born into an age of technology and to a father who's known nothing but hostility and survival and a mother who knew nothing but how to serve. A recipe for an unhealthy childhood; my father beat me and claimed it was punishment and adored yelling and bossing us around, including my mother. My mother was a servant and complacent with my father, but tried her best and did what she knew how to do, which was serve.
My mothered served and did so selflessly which was loving but also harmful in many ways. It gave me obesity when I developed an unhealthy relationship with food and she simply tried to make me happy through food, it took away from her getting her college education completed, it took away from her simply living a happy satisfying life other than the time she had with me as a child.
But she did so out of love, as well as lets be honest, a little habit.
Image source: https://www.instagram.com/p/y2VKMyyHJ_/
I have nothing to thank my father for, although our relationship is no longer so hostile, but I have plenty to thank my mother for, from her breastfeeding me till I was four or five, to her co-sleeping with me despite my fathers demands till I was going into puberty where she still never forced me away. She really tried her best and always gave me attention and love as a good mother/caregiver should.
I thank her for that, and I thank her for the understanding of my desires and goals and not vilifying me or being rude to me for having them, but rather listening and understanding and trying to help me achieve them so I can be happy.
While I cannot say I love many, I do love my mother and will always be grateful for the cuddles she gave me and how she has treated me, as without that treatment I really fear what I would have become.
If I do ever marry or go into a relationship with somebody they have to be on board with treating kids like my mother treated me, well, the affection and caring part, not the catering :)
Thank you to all those co-sleeping, baby-wearing, gentle-parents out there. You're more valuable to society than the teachers, the lawyers, the bus drivers, the doctors...everybody.
Image source:
So how did that, all that passionate heart-pouring and praise lead to the picture above?
I was raised poor, given little, isolated, and was shown the evils of the world. I educated myself on political and economic systems, taboo subjects, and much more during those years, and most things led back to one thing: Capitalism.
We likely have a different idea on what that word means, but I'll leave the explaining that to another post.
Who I am is a broken soul; raised in a school that was predominately not my race and with kids who were taught that my race was the one who hurts and oppresses them, raised in a home where my father beat me and treated me like property and where my mother desperately tried to make me happy, raised in a world where profit comes before all, and worst of all raised in a culture where it is unacceptable to love who I love and where I have to lie and deceive just to not risk being killed.
I was beaten down and developed severe mental issues as a result of the above; and while those have passed now thanks to accepting who I am and understanding that what I want isn't bad, and being proven that, some parts do not appear to be repairable. While I may be sane, no longer full of hate, no longer in pain, no longer self-hateful, I still am disconnected from society as a whole and do not like the majority of society, or at least most of their behaviors.
Image source: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/an-open-letter-to-society-about-mental-illness
But I wouldn't change a thing. I would have rather suffered and been able to help the dozens if not hundreds of people I've helped through similar issues and lives, as well as influenced society as a whole to treat them better as well as generally be less vile.
It sorted my life out and taught me everything I need to know, from how to help the ones I love to how to help the everyday person to what I really want in life to how money really doesn't equal happiness and how it's all about personal relations, money is at best a patch, nothing more.
Who I am is someone who had their teen years ruined, their childhood a mess, and identifies as a Anarcho-Communist, a vegan, an Animal & Child Liberationist, and a little more that we'll pretend doesn't need mentioning, mmm'kay?
I'm devoted to making the world a better place for all, especially those who are most unjustly abused such as children and animals. I'm someone who no longer fears pain but relishes in it with a smile, knowing that the pain and hate I may get is all for the greater good.
That's who I am; no edits, no proof-reads, no plans, nothing.
Straight from the heart and destined to be on the blockchain forever.
This post received a 29% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @kennyskitchen! For more information, click here!
Welcome to Steemit, the land of gift-based anarcho-mutualism on the internet :-) Following you!
I just gifted you a @randowhale vote as part of an idea I'm calling #payitforward. I'm also featuring you in my newest update on the project.
As you can see from this image, my 2 $BD payment to @randowhale just turned into an increase of around $6 on your expected payout (meaning 3 $BD & some number of SteemPower). If you were to spend just 2 of that extra $BD to #payitforward to another post, you would still be ahead and could give them the same kind of boost, or maybe even more :-)
Thanks for being part of Steemit, and maybe share some whale-vote love with other folks you enjoy reading, friends who join the site, or great posts you see. Check out @randowhale's introduction (linked in the comment above) and my announcement of #payitforward to learn more.
Steem on!
PS: Thanks @randowhale
Welcome aboard, an-coms are in a minority here.
Keep working, stop paying!
You have listed quite an adventurous back trail.
Try this link for reference material that can help you organize things in a beneficial manner?
They used to let me link to The Science of Survival, but they have stopped that and now you just have to look for the link in books.
It's a lot of reading, but it has helped me see your side your story much clearer.
Yeah I've noticed, "an"-caps dominate not only crypto but steemit as a whole. That just means there's more minds to change!
That book looks good, I'll add it to my reading list. Thanks mate~
Wow. This was such an honest and well written personal history. Well done. Would love you to check out my intro if interested.
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@sassysandyg/introduceyourself-sassy-sarcastic-korean-american-seeking-joy
Thanks, looks interesting and well written too!
I'll definitely give it a read :)
Very deep bio Miss or Mr, lets have some Steemit fun will ya.....!
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This BOT never welcomed me 😢
It might be tied to #introduceyourself, that could be why; everyone deserves a welcome so even though this was my first post, welcome to you!
awwwwwh!...that is so sweet of you.
Welcome to steemit, nice to meet you!:)
Thanks for the greeting and smile :)
https://steemit.com/money/@tinashe/poor-billionaires-catch-glimpse-of-a-10-billion-zim-dollar-note-yes-10-billion-note
welcome to steemit hope you will have a great time!!!!
@follow
Welcome to steemit! Hope you enjoy your stay :D
Thanks mate
Great intro! And so honest.
I have written here about extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, natural birth, unschooling, etc.
Welcome to Steemit!
Yeah, I've noticed!
You're one of those moms I'm talking about from what it sounds like :)
What makes steem beautiful It's because of Steemers like you.
"Steem is beautiful" ... Stop by and take a look.
https://steemit.com/minnowsunite/@steemisbeautiful/what-makes-steem-beautiful-017
I am following, upvoting and featuring you.
https://www.steemithelp.net/
Stay Original >Stay Creative > SteemOn Daily
Thanks for the mention mate, and the compliment.
Glad people on here appreciate and will take the time to read long posts :)
Welcome to Steemit! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do! :-)
Enjoying it so far, the quality of posts and community is just far far better, and without annoying spam-filters like most websites have that simply block you if you make long posts, it seems pretty much perfect.
Good Morning @thatadvocate.
WOW!!!! You're writing style is so exquisitely deep and amazing!
I'm sorry that you had a difficult childhood and too suffered from an abusive father, but I'm super proud of you for overcoming the learned hatred and pain!
I'm gonna go stalk your other posts now, but please don't ever stop writing!
At least I had a super-good cuddly mother :3
Wow. This is really powerful man. I'm glad your tough times led you to a righteous place. Kudos for that. Upvoted at max :)
Oh wtf.. I guess voting doesn't give you anything because it's been 8 days? Respond to this comment tho if you'd like and I'll smash it.
Great intro mate, those that haven't been hurt don't know the beauty of living... keep it up and keep up with this level of honesty, it's refreshing!
Will do, haven't had enough time to make as many truly heart-felt posts lately, but hopefully soon :)
I'd say while it sucks to go through pain, that's the least of the pain I went through during my childhood, but while it sucks in the moment, if it's bad enough, it'll make every other moment so much better.
Things that most people would consider insignificant or boring I consider blissful and amazing no matter how many times I experience it now, as I have the contrast to know and I had the time/pressure to know what I truly enjoy.
That's understandable mate, they can't be completely rushed.
That's a great perspective, it's not always easy to see the silver lining but it helps knowing that you can learn from any situation 👍
What do you find blissful and amazing then? :)
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THIS SCAMMER IS NOT THE SAME AS @randowhale! @randowhale is the ORIGINAL UPVOTE BOT. THIS BOT IS A SCAM AND A RIPOFF. Only use @randowhale!!!