Greetings, Steemians.
We come in peace. Let us just land our flying Lambo for a sec. There. Now please take us to YOUR LEADER.
Ah. You don't have one.. No problem. A representative assembly, perhaps? No, huh?
Designated oligarch? Chief Executive Officer? Minister plenipotentiary? Part-time tribal chieftain? Rotational voodoo priestess?? A PLAIN AND SIMPLE DECIDER?!
What's that? You have no such thing? What in Satoshi's name is this shameless bleeding anarchy? Christ, you people are basically a carbon copy of that obstreperous peasant in Monty Python's Holy Grail.
Great.
Well, decentralize this...
That's right. The invasion has begun.
Introducing: The Blockchain Blowtorch
Since we - a miserable group of alcoholic writers - started investing our life savings, selling our women and children into slavery and harvesting our own organs to make delusional amounts of money in cryptospace, we quickly realized one thing: You need a dark friggin' sense of humor to deal with THIS crap.
That's right. Not to mention this crap. And this crap. But mostly this crap right here.
Don't get us wrong. Crypto is A LOT OF FUN. And just like you, we care deeply about the irrevocable innovation and earth-shattering technology behind decentralized payment systems and various real-life applications safeguarded by the blockchain. Right?
Yeah. Precisely.
So what are we here for? The simple answer is FAKE NEWS.
Long before the crash of 2018, cryptospace grew into a haven for fortune seekers, hardcore believers, visionaries, tech wizards and merciless effing scammers. While we deeply appreciate all but one the above, it is the art of FUDDING, of carely manipulating market sentiment through either careful disinformation or blatant bullpoo, that has really fascinated us. Correct. The Art of the Unreal.
And so, here we are, hopefully bringing a degree of humor to the mix through the power of satire, rather than malicious manipulation or calculated dissemination of non-truths. While we are working on an operational website, consider this our putting the toe in the water and getting to know all of you and this wonderful medium better through love of what we do best. Writing complete and utter nonsense.
In other words, we look forward to providing you with some much needed comic relief, as you patiently wait for your bag of Flappycoin to inevitably moon once more.
Thank you for reading. Stay safe. Stay updated. Stay decentralized.
Welcome to Steemit @theblowtorch!
I wish you much success and hope you find Steemit to be as rewarding and informative as I have.
Yes, I love Crpto too! Lots of detailed analysis on my blog along with some predictions
Here are some links you might find useful.
Your stats on SteemNow
Your stats on SteemWorld
Your stats on SteemD
How to use Minnow Booster
How does Steemit actually work?
Introbot is hosted and managed with donations from @byColeman to help make your journey on Steemit be truly rewarding. Your feedback is always welcome so that we may improve this welcome message.
Oh yea, I have upvoted you and followed you. Many blessings from @introbot & @bycoleman
You are funny and I love #InformationWar. Thanks for sharing, hehe. I'm Oatmeal Joey Arnold. You can call me Joey.