You might be wondering where I've gone. Well, I haven't gone far. Ever since @dantheman voted on my first introductory post I've started having disorienting, high-intensity, spontanous orgasms several times a day non-stop. The last one was so heavy and aggressive I had to go to a local clinic here in the east region of West Mongolia to have it looked at to confirm it was all good. Luckily it was. The doctors asked me what I had been doing lately that could've caused this phenomenon. I gave them an honest response. Big mistake... I told them that one of my favorite big-time users on a great business-related website – which sometimes gives you free money which regenerates for that user the next day, had just given me a sum of money and that that was the reason for my, let's say, inappropriately timed ejection of of deepest business desires (yes, business is sexual for me). They didn't believe me and gave me heavy sedatives. They strapped me to a chair and forced me to get @dantheman out of my fucking head, as they said to me while schocking me with medium-voltage electricity. Yeah, the things that go on down here in the eastern region of West Mongolia can really make you jump. It really is crazy. Believe me! Must have something to do with the fact that it borders with Russia, but I don't know... Anyway, I just regained consciousness a few days ago and I'm finally out of the hospital, and I'm busy just browsing steemit for new posts. I'm trying to catch up for all the time lost being sedated and nearly half-dead. Nothing was lost during that time of pure Mongolian coercion. I lost nothing, and they didn't manage to get ANY FUCKING thing out of my precious fucking entrepreneurial and business-related head. I am Earnstein, and I will live as long as I am alive, and by living, I mean I will continue to experience spontaneous orgasms in case that is what it takes to become successful, so if this means I will have spend a hundred years in a hospital, I'll do it! I am Earnstein and I am READY! All I know is next time it won't be a Mongolian, state-sponsored local health center.
Thank you my dear friends, thank you @dantheman for generating such godly power within me, thanks everyone who reads this, thank the gods, thanks the east region of West Mongolia for giving me the opportunity to stay here and work on my business-related endeavours, and thank whomever there is left to thank (I'm sure I'll think of someone), and take care!
Love,
Stratched Scratchford Earnstein
Hi ho and welcome!
Hey! Who are you!? I am the REAL Earnstein! You can't be me, and I can't be you! Who the FUCK are you even!?
What are you talking about? Who are you!? Why do you claim to be ME if I am ME and YOU are not ME because I am me!? Are you even running a funded-solely-by-donations, successful and stable non-profit organization based on scientifically backed self-help methods for people who wish to heal from deep childhood trauma? Who the hell are you even to tell ME that I am NOT Earnstein and that even YOU are Earnstein? How dare you! Explain yourself!
Well, how in the WORLD of all that is holy do you explain my username being earnstein if I wasn't him!? Who the hell are you to question my loyalty to my own maiden name? Yes, I questioned you, yeah. But that doesn't matter, because I am Earnstein!!!