Life has a way of changing suddenly. Be ready for a positive change and it will come to you sooner or later. You are already here and you won't be forever so you might as well find reasons to enjoy it. There are many, I promise.
Focus on loving yourself first. Forgive yourself for everything in the past. It's done. Just focus on right now. This might sound really hard but now you have a community full of people who would be happy to help.