The reason I've remained anonymous at steemit are varied. The biggest was a desire to just do what I do without making much of a show about it. I don't want to be over-intentional. There is something that always felt slightly unnatural about taking a picture of myself with the intention of sharing it with strangers, or even going out of my way to show old photos with anyone who I don't have a close relationship with. It seemed like ego-based behavior.
There are other reasons I remained anonymous but with regards to the above, I am coming to realize that the ego is not something that needs to die. It's merely clothing that we wear, a vessel with which to interact with the physical. The only problems with the ego come when it believes that it is an entity unto itself. My ego is my clothing. I can wear clothing for the convenience of staying warm, or even to express something, without believing that the clothing is me.
There was also a fear of notoriety. I make music. I would love it if my music could help me to connect with others. My experience playing shows, however, showed me how lopsided the connection of someone on stage with their audience can be. The stage itself is something which I am not a huge fan of. It isn't the sharing, it's the distance, and the hierarchy that come from a whole night spent focused on one individual (or perhaps a small group). There is the tendency of people to idolize. It seemed very unnatural for me, even when I was young and participating in this kind of behavior. What the hell is an autograph? And lastly, with regards to attention, there is the tendency that people have to label you and categorize you, and then feel disappointed, or even to lash out when you do not fit their labels. I don't need peoples approval but I also do not want to deal with the hassles of TOO much attention.
I realize now that if sharing is my goal, I must share without much regards to how it is interpreted. Of course, I want people to understand where I am coming from, but I cannot expect that they do if I don't make the first step. I still do not like the construction of the "stage", but I can't break the stage without first standing upon it. I cannot empower others if I am not first empowered, and sometimes, if I am the only one in the room who has empowered themselves, I may receive far too much power for anyone's good. I need to trust myself that I will be able to redistribute that power back to those who have given it to me unknowingly, and teach them how to wield it.
There was a fear internet surveillance, the fact that the more information we give, the more we are profiled by both the state and corporate entities. I wished to avoid giving any more information than necessary. It is very likely that we are being categorized by our opinions and lifestyle habits in order to analyse us. This information could potentially be used in a variety of ways which are still not commonly understood. But if society becomes more and more opressive, am I just going to cower and hide my true self and create a public persona? That will cause a pulling at two ends until the cognitive dissonance is too much to bear. My fears of such a world will only cause me to add fuel to that fire. I believe that we can do better as a species, but the only way is if we are true to ourselves and are not afraid.
So here is to getting over my fears:
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A bit about me
I write music. I write stories. I teach languages. I guide those who desire guidance. I build community. I want to change the world through the process of changing myself, creating the very best version of myself to rub off on everyone I meet and to enjoy every moment. I love the feeling of inspiring others and if inspiring others in whatever way comes natural can't be an occupation, it should be. That is why I am an artist above all else.
I speak Japanese and Chinese, a bit of Spanish and a bit of Cantonese. I'd like to learn some more western languages when I get around to it.
I am working on finishing an album under the name "I+Everything", and a book entitled "Confessions of the Damaged". These are two passion projects that I've been chizzling away at for the past few years but both are nearing completion. Both will be pay-what-you-want, as I believe this mode of payment promotes trust and freedom, and I believe that I can convince enough people that what I create is valuable.
I would so much love it if I could become self-sustainable through my music and my writing, and I'm about 25% of the way there with some big progress being made right now. Then if I need to get a job in order to obtain a visa for wherever I want to live I will do it without a heavy heart because I will know that I can quit and take my time to find a new job, or just go back to living the nomad life. I would love to have the money not only to move about freely, but also to be able to support other artists and independent thinkers so that they can focus their time on doing what they love.
If you know me, you know I am constantly coming up with new ideas to create more trust, more cooperation and more fun. On steemit, some projects I've come up with are The Be Awesome discord community (soon to be invite only), The Deadpost Initiative, and #nobidbot.
I want to live without being controlled by fear. That is why I chose to show myself after 428 days at steemit. Now that you know what I look like, it will be easier for me to share some of my projects which are not Steemit based, hopefully helping to create more awesomeness!
I love helping and connecting with others so just a reminder, always feel free to send me a message on discord to chat.
I still value my privacy and so sometimes I with withhold certain details. For now, you can call me Z. Or Pineapple. That works.
Love,
Z
Pineapple
whatamidoing
thetree
ipluseverything
Confessions of the Damaged
If you like what I do, please consider becoming a Patron (or helping me find more Patrons by sharing my stories on social media) so I can put more time and energy into fiction, music and community building. Thanks for any an all support!
I absolutely, absolutely love you!
<3
I really like your openness and transparency here! made me smile. :) it is never too late to open yourself to a wider community. I like Pineapple - it has many faces and eyes and is both exotic and nourishing. :)
You make me sound so psychedelic! So many faces and eyes!
Can I call you gorgeous?? Haha! Seriously, how lovely it is to see you!! It doesn't matter one jot, not at all, and I totally get the paranoia/discomfort/despair/anxiety about appearances, more than you could possibly know, but then when you've got to know a person somewhat (as I've been reading your stuff and seeing your work for some time now) it's awesome to put a face/name together - not that it matters a jot! I'm glad you trusted steemians enough to finally do the big reveal. most of us are a really nice bunch, I think. xx I get re: the reluctance to share so much too, but I guess we're all out there now, and there's not much to be done about that. A brave new world. Very envious of your ability to speak more than one language - I stupidly never bothered, for which I constantly reprimand myself, and my parents for not forcing me to continue Japanese at school, or German for that matter.
Call me whatever you’d like ;-) I did forget to mention that one reason I really wanna show my face is because I trust my friend here and want to know each other better! If you ever need help with Japanese let me know! <3 thank you for a wonderful comment! <3
Well, welcome:)
:-)
Hiya Z! Nice to meet you (officially). :) You are definitely creative with your thoughts. Your music jams are cool. I'm sure you have plenty of inspiration with the studio right by the ocean.
We lost the studio! Hopefully there will be another in the future, for now the whole world is my studio though :-D
Nice to see your smiling face for the first time ever, @whatamidoing!
:-)
Dun dun dunhaa. Face reveal.. awesome suspense built
I wish I could have made it flashier after such a long wait!
No problem friend. Me and Vincent can help you with an awesome name reveal pr u want to remain pineapple San :-)
You have built momentum for a year and I am one of the few who already had a sneak peak. That last picture is amazing. A shame your holding your phone though.
Just kidding. I am interested in the story behind that picture though. When was it taken, where and by whom. But now I start to sound like Google myself ;>)
Nice to finally get to know you(r physical body). I love your spirit!
You look exactly how I pictured you :)
Thank you for sharing your beautiful face. You are an inspiring person, and I am happy to be a part of your journey.
Thanks! It’s great to have you in our community too! I need to start putting some time into it again!
That's great to hear @whatamidoing. I love the photograph of you holding the phone and I'm looking forward to seeing some more of our projects.
Well done for posting your phographs. I know it was a biggie for you. 😍
Funnily enough, I haven't done an introduction post either and have been thinking about doing one over the last couple of days.
My only reason for not doing one so far is a lack of time and not enjoying writing too much.
There are still other things that I want to do more so it's unlikely I'll get around to it but it is on my mind. 😁
Hope it's going well on the island1
You’ve been a huge inspiration to keep writing. Knowing that I have people like you reading makes it all worth it. I will be happy to read , send me a link when it’s ready! I really hope I have a chance to do a steemit tour one day. The back is getting better so I suppose it’s possible!
Aw that's nice to hear @whatamidoing. Thank you.
Glad to hear your back is getting better.
Have a fun week. 😊
nice to see you Z, I completely understand your reasons for not showing any pictures of yourself on here, I never did until all the passengers of the eco-train were asked to supply a photo of themselves and that is the only photo of me on here, but as you said we have to be true to ourselves and let go of any fear. How can we expect others to reach out, if we do not do so ourselves. So congrats on being more open and looking forward to seeing the projects you wish to share xx
I realized my fears were attracting more of the same to me and so it’d be best to let them go and come what may, I think the world is still going to get better and I want to be a part of it rather than hiding.
This is so overdue that Mr Overdue can touch its own tail... :)
Lovely intro post btw.
This is something that all the real newcomers should do. Having an awesome introduction post can make wonders for the motivation.
頑張ってください 😀
I probably should have done it when I wasn’t a newcomer too. でも後悔もない！
Omg, you have a face now, besides the pineapple! That's great! :D
Actually the pineapple is the real face, I thought I needed a mask so I put on a human head!
Mmm, of course!
Wow man! I thought it took me long to write my intro and it was just 2.5 months :)
It is really nice to see the face behind the pineapple!
I met you through The Deadpost Initiative and following you, ever since but to be honest I was starting to feel a little bit annoyed with the pineapple-face popping up in my feed.
I fully understand your fears and the same reasoning have stopped me in the past from having any kind of social media account. Steemit somehow changed that for me and now I am, from the first time in my life, profiled, categorized and who knows what else by my own will :)
So welcome to the community of the exposed ones!
Annoyed with the pineapple!? What did my mask ever do to you? :-(
If we are truly fearless than nothing can harm us. I hope by that logic, if we are less fearless, less things can harm us! I also feel steemit changed social media for me. Despite all its problems I managed to meet so many awesome people.
Cool to get your backstory, I get it with the music thing, it seems like any kind of fame can threaten to take away the purity of it. I still feel like whatever you are putting out will draw the people that resonate with you though, I really enjoyed what I heard man, would love to see some more, hopefully I didn't miss any.
I suppose we are all just channeling art anyway, if I am not happy with the way people react to the art, I just need to work on my channeling skills!
I have a bunch of demos I just recorded, I’ll snare some of them soon, sharing some fiction first this week.
Loved the whole thing, I think we have a very similar life approach, I got way too less experience tho, listening to your music, really good by the way, I've seen that bandcam is hiring and it seems to be a freelance job, just in case you haven't seen it or someone is interested, I'll try to keep around and help as much as I can, keep rocking!
Do I have that much experience? Haha I guess I do, though I’m not sure what qualifies. :-)
Hiring for what?
It’s great to know you man, wed really love to have you in our be awesome chat, I think you joined before
Welcome to Steem, @whatamidoing!
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Well hello there!
Hello you are welcome to steem community..
It's never too late to act with transparency, that's much better
Haha eventually it all comes out
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nice smile and props for opening up
Thanks!
Oh, I missed the upvote window on this one! So glad you decided to let the pineapple rest 😊Nice to see your face. I suspect this means we'll be getting to see more of your music playing soon.
Btw, I so resonate with your question about what an autograph is, and the tendency of people to idolize whoever they've focused attention on for an extended period of time. Great observations.
Welcome to Steemit platform.
Superb post.......