@jerrybanfield this is my best attempt to share my story, its a difficult story to try to capture....
Throughout my life I have had some pretty interesting spiritual awakenings, happenings, and unknowns. I will attempt for the first time ever to express fully what I perceive as my greatest spiritual awakening. It will be filled with controversial information and yet it is my reality and truth.
A little bit of background I have used drugs throughout my life and have had many different experiences on drugs like MDMA, LSD, and Magic Mushrooms, and then I have suffered from addiction to methamphetamine as well. So its been quite an interesting life to say the least, now when you add my personal spiritual belief structure into the paradigm you get a mixture of convoluted experiences and happenings.
For this writing I want to focus on a time frame in which I was suffering from meth addiction. During this horrible time in my life I was tormented by delusions of evil, literally I would see manifestations of evil images, evil dogs and just evil all around....See my christian fundemental beliefs associated my behavior and surroundings with the presence of evil, and or the devil, as well during this addiction time period I believed that God was absent and God was mad at me. Due to this deep rooted belief in an angry God, my mind would see evil as the supernatural manifestations or delusions..Who really knows, was it manifestations or delusions?
Fast forward a couple years clean and a whole lot of time studying the message of grace and love and praying to God all the time, now during a short one night relapse I begin to see and experience angelic manifestations and beauty, was my vibrational frequency changed, was my pineal gland healed? Who really knows, but this was my new reality, and this is just a bit of background information for the next part of the story.
Now to the amazing spiritual awakening. I had relapsed once again on meth, but during my relapse for the 24 hour period instead of seeking out sex, and physical sensations I would write and pray seeking God, I know its weird but this is what happened..Something inside me had changed my high was no longer the same, it was now a spiritual experience as if God was meeting me right in the middle of my struggles, I mean a presence of euphoria like never experienced, visualisations like never seen before....The most amazing presence of acceptance, love, and beauty in the midst of what I considered my struggle....My mind never comprehended it and even fought it because I was programmed to believe I was a sinner and God didn't want anything to do with this behavior, yet I was met with this grace and love never known......
Well the next 3 days while sober are what I call my greatest spiritual awakening. As I walked in a park singing and praying to know God and seeking God with everything I had inside, my belly began to quiver and then an energy began to vibrate from my belly up to the top of my head, and out through my hands so intensely that it kinda hurt...This vibration literally felt like it extended 20 feet outward from my hands, my eye brows vibrated, my head vibrated, and my arms were like an electric source shooting energy into the universe.....I began to get deep revelation, and all that I thought was true began to fade away....I was experiencing something supernatural and had no clue what it was. For the next few hours this continued in strength and magnitude, as I would weep and revelate within. It seemed like everything and anything bad was leaving me and somehow everything was changing. This actually happened again twice more the next few days, it was so unknown, so scary, and yet I knew deep inside it was good. Something amazing was happening and I had no clue what. All I know is I wept and wept and wept for so many things, my past, other people, and just so many situations....All while I had this surge of energy running through my body with a tingling all throughout my face, it was intense. I tried asking people in my christian circle but they thought I was crazy and had no answers. Now prior to this experience I was also amazed by all the times I was seeing 11:11, 77, and 55.....It was like a message was being sent to me prior to this all happening.
Now looking back at this experience which was about 8 months ago, I believe it was my chakras fully opening and me entering into a journey of truth and boy has everything changed. Since that all happened I have escaped the lies of fundemental christianity, I have been opened to the Universal Love, my dreams and hopes have changed, my beliefs have changed and I am constantly unlearning lies I once believed, whether it be conspiracy theories, false doctrine, hate, pride, or all the false narratives I believed about the world and me. It has been a rollercoaster of feelings and emotions weeding through the lies of seperation, deception, and religion but what a beautiful journey it has been...I am so grateful for this journey, and my new found freedom. I also since this happened have had no urges for meth use or any other addicting drugs.....I also have come to find new truth about different forms of drugs and their positive contributions if handled properly and used at the right time and age, that's a whole other discussion, but an important one.
My spiritual awakening has forever changed me and I am grateful to God and all of the Universe! The greatest value in which this transformation has brought is the ability to love all. I along with my knew found love have become a vegetarian, and very aware of our Universal Oneness. I used to see evil in people and situations now I find good in all, because in all we are One. Thank you for letting me share my story.
Much Love and Blessings🙏🙏🙏
What a temptation for me this is. It's something I've been thinking about for a few months actually. Ugh! What a drag for me. 🤷♂️ I don't think I'll ever know if this could help...
😂😂😂😂😂😂
that's a great story..and one that I have personally had the privilege of hearing from the source, first hand. It's actually quite difficult to imagine what that experience must have been like but I can kind of see the colours; pink, violet, yellow intense ! It's a Wonderful Life
Thanks for stopping by brother......I love your idea of colors/aura......When do you want to schedule some time to talk? Shoot me a FB message when you want to schedule....Blessings
Hey Dude, sometime next week would be good. I've got a busy schedule but I'd really like to have another chat. perhaps we can do a bit of a dry run with some narrative highlights. I'll msg you on fb next week. Have a Great Weekend
Sounds good bro! Have a great weekend!
Hey bro thought you might appreciate my new blog...I will be posting about the 40 days and my writings.....Check out this one
https://steemit.com/poetry/@positivechange10/my-story-and-journey-of-40-days-in-isolation-while-in-prison
Wow, You've really opened yourself to us! I can see in Your words that the change was really crucial for You. Your experience sounds... amazing, relieving.
I'm so happy for You, You always have so many interesting experiences to share! I might have experienced something similiar in the past but I'd rather not remind myself that by force or drugs :p (not strictly against them but, as You said, better be careful with these) Then again, I don't think I need it right now since I have such wonderful people like Yourself to share their thoughts and challenge my views a bit.
E: I've counted 950 words, hope it'll still go through since it's really good.
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words, and yes it was very crucial for me....Wow, I hoor it counts to, I thought it was over 1000 words, maybe i should add 50 more words😂😂
Do it, it's worth it. As long as You won't mess up the sentences by throwing them in by force, of course :P
I did add now I hope it qualifies..
You have been through a lot of experience, You learn how to become spiritual evolve, and What matter most in life. God give You strenght, blessings.
Thank you @doinita its been a long journey but Im grateful for who I an becoming, blessings to you🙏🙏🙏
the story is so touched, every effort there will be no way, we can only try and pray, the god that determines his destiny for us.
Thank you and blessings🙏🙏🙏
Nothing to say about @jerrybanfield
In a word, he is a great man! I'm big fan of jerrybanfield .
He is the reason I am here on Steemit, so I also am a fan if @jerrybanfield
well i got to now about hi since few hours that there is a contest and i am really interested it cause it is a chance for me to show them and to try how good is my writing
Check @jerrybanfield for the contest....
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