Hey there.
You feel like you're under a dump truck right now friend, and I can tell you - it sounds like you have a "gob" of reasons to feel that way.
However, a graduate - someone who dedicated himself to his studies is not an incompetent person. Period.
Remember all the challenges you had to overcome in order to graduate? That's never easy. And you did it.
"This too will pass. It's impossible for this to last forever."
I know it feels like there is no end to the suffering you are going through right now, yet...think back on some of the big trials you have overcome in the past.
Things you accomplished, that you had no idea how you were going to make it happen....and [somehow] you did.
This phase of your life - is another one of these trying moments.
An opportunity to pull yourself up from this place and truly reach for the "grit" that exists within you. I can sense your strength in the way you write. Someone who cares as much as you do for your wife is a strong, capable individual.
Focus on where you want to go. Spend your time creating the job you want in your thoughts. Place yourself in a video in your mind - where you see yourself working with happy, intelligent, grateful people who are genuinely pleased to experience your value. See yourself loving what you do. Spend time here - build it in your mind.
The longer you allow yourself to focus on where you currently are "in life"...the longer it will seem to take to move from this phase.
Tap into your imagination and begin to mentally take control of your momentum. You are smart, you are caring, you are accomplished, and you can do anything you put your mind to.
You wrote a very thoughtful post, and I know this alone will begin to spur on some positive momentum for you. I'll be thinking of you and sending you love!
Hi there @wipgirl , thank you for taking your time and writing a beautiful reply, thank you for encouraging me, i'll remember this and read it again when i'm not feeling ok !! Thank you !