It's never easy to take your life, these days I remember that in my country, Venezuela is worth nothing, there are days when I know how to do it, generally any cut in the jugular could be 90% effective, I'm running out of options I can not find a way out of life until I'm 30. I'm bankrupt, I do not have debts with anyone, only with me there are many of them that I can not afford to pay me. I feel alone my friends had to leave the country, because there is no food there are days when I go to bed without dinner, my parents at least sometimes get food, but they never supported me. I do not care for any of them, in these moments would be great to help me at least talking, I would have liked to pay a psychologist but I do not have much money to go, I wrote a book or a story rather about suicide based on a story of a friend licks " Moons to Nathalia "has nothing to do with this which tells only the purpose of the act to which I refer. A few days ago watching a documentary by Don Pablo Escobar he said that "shooting in the ear is the best way to die fast" now I do not have a weapon but I like this option, I should not think about this, I wanted to live and have a family 3 daughters and they were proud of me, but I could not or I can achieve it, my future was in music although I like rock I compose reggaetón songs, trap, now I do not have many instruments, some were stolen I do not have anymore where to compose I have nothing! I was totally robbed! I do not know what to do with my life ... Well, if I know, the option that nobody wants to touch, I'm sure those who die of their own will are valuable people who should never have left that way, I am one of those who like to help but help so much that in the end I stay empty Say everything, I really do not have anything! I want to scream I want someone to listen to me and help me give me a hug that everything will be fine, but that will not happen I write to you from a laptop that was damaged the screen and is connected to a ctrl monitor that generates enough heat, overwhelmed but it is what I have, I dreamed of going to Buenos Aires but I can not buy dollars to go because of the high cost, I do not have anyone left alone. I will write here until they do not see more written by me, I want to download everything is the only thing left I do not have options to choose only I have left the suicide, when I no longer see a writing that day remember that I died.
I wish their lives were great mine was not only I had a girlfriend and I loved her a lot, I have no one to distract me I do not know what to do, I do not know what to do, I do not want to die, I do not want to die, but it's what I'll do I want to rest be in peace, where I go after death I want to be happy if God existed would not let me die, so many times I went to church (even touch the guitar) and nothing feels good to go because nothing happened or at least I expected something an external help from the beyond? surely . I do not want to leave, I do not want to leave, but I know that nobody will read this I am stuck in a country that james will surely emerge from the induced poverty in which he deepened a shitty government and dragged all of us young people that we felt in a prison with life imprisonment. That's how I feel I do not know what else to do because I do not have anyone to trust. I write in a social network only to empty this feeling that I have of loneliness, depression hopefully I had a change button to be in another mode and not this that is a hole / prison that disturbs me and silently kills me. Will I live?