Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 17th February 2018

in #jokes7 years ago

Joke 1

Ideas

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GHIb3t


Joke 2

A good time to keep you mouth shut is when you're in deep water.


Joke 3

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.


Joke 4

LAPD Officer: "We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor slob for no reason at all! What should we charge him with?"

DESK Sergeant: "Impersonating an Officer."


Joke 5

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

"All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his billfold with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"


Joke 6

The doctor gazed at the harassed, stout lady who sat on the other side of his desk. "I was right, Mrs. Green," he announced, "You are definitely pregnant again."

"This will be the fifteenth, doc," said Mrs. Green grimly. "You'll have to help me. Enough is enough. I want one of those hearing aids!"

"A hearing aid?" frowned the doctor. "Surely you mean a contraceptive device?"

"I mean a hearing aid, doctor. You see it's like this. Every Saturday night my husband comes in drunk. When he gets into bed he says, "Now then, are we going to sleep, or what?"

And every blasted time I say, 'What?"


Joke 7

A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

The store clerk replied, "Sorry about, that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

To which the blonde answered, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.'"


Joke 8

Q: Why did the prisoner take a shower before he broke out of jail?
A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.


Conquer your bad habits

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GEW0j1


Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/02/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-17-feb.html


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haha... lolz.. there are very funny :)

This comment has received a 0.09 % upvote from @speedvoter thanks to: @abhisteem13.

The second make me laught 😂
And is a good advice for non-fish living being. 😂✌🏻

hahahaha good jokes to laugh and relax thanks for sharing friend

Nice jokes. Its interesting

A laugh a day keeps the doctor away....

Very funny jokes friend.

El número 3 es demasiado bueno! Gracias por el aporte!

The second make me laught And is a good advice for non-fish living being.

Nice jokes. Its interesting

What laughter the blondes, hahaha

LOL Very good joke # 5

the 8 jajaja is funny!

I absolutely love the jokes! So VERY true regarding bad habits! Thank you so VERY much for sharing! All the best! Positive Energy! Great Karma! Your Friend @extraterrestrial :)

Hahaha, good jokes

nice jokes...

#2

A good time to keep you mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

Lolz.... who dare talk when in deep water?

Nice aahaha

Laughter is the best medicine! Keep up the good work. Please heal this sick world:)
Thanks for donating to the riddle competition!
Check out @nikisteem for some of my almost funny work. Thank you!

lolxx funnny