Joke 1
Dr. Seuss
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/580
Joke 2
It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married. - Anonymous
Joke 3
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk.
Did he tell you what gauge to get? asked the clerk.
Are you kidding? she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"
Joke 4
Q: Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Joke 5
A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. It included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone calls, fax, photocopying, and everything but lunch hours.
Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services.
Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list:
"For crossing the street to talk to you, then discovering it wasn't you at all - $125."
Joke 6
A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody- or-other had printed it.
Not Gutenberg? gasped the collector.
Yes, that was it!
You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!
Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much, replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin Luther."
Joke 7
A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.
Doc, the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week. But now, when I get in the tunnels with those four other guys crowded into the car, I get anxious and dizzy, and I feel like I'm going to explode."
Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had diagnosed the ailment.
What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?
No, no, no, my boy. You have something that is becoming more and more common.
Tell me! What is it?
You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.
Joke 8
Q: Did you hear about the two men who walked into a bar?
A: The third one ducked.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/582
Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-20-jan.html
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Eleanor knew what time it was!
Eleanor Roosevelt's quote is very true.
I think she is everyone's favorite here :)
I love the first joke, you have to be odd to be number one
You had some good ones in there this week. I enjoy catching your post @sydesjokes.
words of wisdom frpm ELEANOR
5 and 7 were good.
Eleanor Roosevelt is right !
Thanks to bring us fun !
I like joke 6, Very funny.
some true stuff, and funny hehehe
Too much funny
😂😃😁
Or first
Number 2 got me 😂 😂 😂
I love jokes
6 is good
All good. I'll make sure to never go tap dancing.
I got one also :
Hahahaha, I like the joke 3.
Joke No. 2 is very true.. hehehe
cant stop laughing that 7 got me cracked up
Lol..I can't help myself but laugh..
The number 3 is a cruel joke! Jajaja
Yhia is what makes you creative
well said "you have to be odd to be the number one" keep sharing @sydesjokes
Always brings a happy day to me when reading your jokes :)
Joke 6 - LOL
6 number jokes is assome
Not Gutenberg ? haha @ joke 6
Nice one.
6 number jokes is assome
2nd one haha nice..
Damn, I have to remember not to read your posts on the tram!
If they betray you twice it is really your fault! :)
Jokes 3, ahahaha very good!
Im just catching up on posts i've missed this week.
nice one