Great words I like it and your explaination is very impressive and beautiful i like it keep it up nice words
If you are able to generate or remember past experiences that brought you Joy at some point, go ahead and try anything you can, specially in hard moments of pain. Pain can be found the same way you are able to find joy. It is totally up to you what to feel today, so your future can be a lot better.
So happy these words can inspire you my friend. It is an honor :)