A stage that a lot of parents dread the most is the time when their kid is in their teens. At this time, they feel that have completely lost their cute little babies. This is because teenagers at this stage are in search of themselves. Many fall prey of social vices through the wrong friends. At this stage, they want certain friendship and want to prove their loyalty more than they want to be with their parents.
Image Credit : Jelleke Vanooteghem, unsplash.com
But, have you stopped to think that this stage could be made easier for the kid if they have their parent’s support and advice? Rather than being a rebel and being at logger head consistently, parent’s backup will help see the child through easily with the right advice.
This can only happen if your child trusts you. Yes! Like really trust you not to spill the beans about whatever is going on. At this stage they care a lot about their image, therefore they do not want to tarnish their images amidst friends (a reason some kids do not want to admit to being bullied). Only a kid that trusts you will ask for advice directly or indirectly. And with the questions being asked, you can formulate ideas about whatever is going on.
Gaining your child’s trust is the key to getting to know them better. Here are tips on how to gain your kids’ trust:
- Be friendly
Yes, you want to be a disciplined parent. You want to give your kids the best training. It’s nice but do not overdo it. Once in a while, do not shout, accuse or punish for offences when not necessary. Be your kid’s friend- play, laugh and even joke with them. - Attention
Most parents will confess to being busy with one thing or the other during the day. They go to work, shop and do other things. But this shouldn’t affect giving attention to your kids. Listen when they want to talk, discuss the topic thoroughly before drawing a conclusion. Let your kids know you are always there and free to discuss anything they want even when they have done something bad. - Reaction
How could you? You did that? May be the questions and words you spill out immediately your kid tells you things. But if you really want to gain their trust, do not over react. Prepare your mind to accept things calmly. Even if your worst fear is uttered, try to calm yourself. You could lose your temper only for a few minutes, but do not hesitate to control and calm yourself. - The secret may not be secret
There may be times you do not know how to handle a situation your kid discussed with you and you need advice either from your spouse, colleagues or parents. You can always ask for advice but do it in areas out of earshot. You can always go out to the park, or the car or some other private places to discuss it. And whatever is discussed is to be kept between the two parties. You don’t necessarily have to run to your spouse immediately your kid tells you something. You can conclude to meet outside the home to discuss it while the spouse shows unawareness of such discussion topic. - Catch them young
You really want your kid to trust you as a teen? Then start from when he/she is little. Get them to confide the little things, and it won’t be hard for them to come to you will the big ones.
And carry them along with current happenings
If parents were able to build good relationship with there kids in the toddler and infant stage of there lives, such relationship continues throughout the teenage stage and adult stage. But parents build relationship more with their jobs than with their kids and when the kids start reacting to the excessive lack of attention in their teenage years, the parents will start complaining that the teenage stage is difficult and bla bla bla.... build relationship with your kids and watch them draw closer to you as they grow older
Exactly!!!