Hi guys, I am starting a series on Child Upbringing. In the series, I will be discussing issues related to kids and how best parents can handle them.
The first post of the series is Handling a kid that lies
Image Credits:raw pixelunsplash.com
Kids, in their tender age most of the times do not realize the full implication of lying, either to themselves, parents or guardians. They simply tell the lies to save themselves from the punishment that may accompany their telling the truth about a matter. Then they continue lying even at times when it doesn’t warrant punishment.
As a parent, you may be disturbed about how to handle such a kid who is fast becoming a perpetual liar. For experienced parents, they know that it is not all about being too strict or being too much of the no- nonsense type. Dealing with kids in whatever situation it may be requires lots of principles and patience.
Here are some steps to help you deal with a kid that lies:
- You wonder why your kid keeps sticking to the made up story even when it has been shown with lots of evidence that such a kid is at fault. It is because he wants to avoid “The punishment”. No kid likes being punished even when they are wrong, so they just decide to stick to the made up story which doesn’t get them punished. They keep chanting the word, “No, I didn’t do it” even when the evidences prove otherwise.
- When they keep chanting the lies and keep insisting that they didn’t, they want to believe their own story because that is the only thing that ensures that their words do not change even in the face of threat. So the best thing to do in such a situation is to give the kid the chance to change his word. Lying kids want to believe they are saying the truth so, give them a chance to change their word. Even if you will punish, it can’t be more than intended or deserved, so rather give them a chance to change their word. Tell your kid you are giving him the last chance to tell the truth and watch out if they will try to manipulate the story. Give time to admit the truth
- When your kid keeps sticking to the made up part, let it go and tell such a kid you believe him. Let your kid get away with the lies once in a while (although not too frequently). Do not punish and act like the matter is no longer of importance. Act like he probably hasn’t told a lie and tell him you believe him and you trust the fact that he will never lie to you. Words like this, gets to the child’s conscience and he may feel uncomfortable for haven betrayed your trust and lied to you. Guilt conscience will push such a child to come before you and crumble with the truth.
- When such a kid crumbles, it is advisable not to punish to boost the morale of truth speaking in him. Rather educate him on the importance of the trust you have in him and in the fact that you believe he will never lie. Let him know that it will be quite disadvantageous if he is labeled a liar amidst family and friends and no one will trust him if he persists.
Inspired by :Nouman Ali Khan