BEWARE!!!!!big ass gold watches will fuck up human evolution

A troubling trend has set among the human male specious....a status symbol....big ass gold watches.
Well, although this seemingly harmless shiny jewel, worn by the human male as part of his Neanderthal mating ritual, it is really harmful, when examining the long lasting effects of this ritual for the evolution progress of the human race.
Studies have shown, that the over weight inflicted on the left hand, tilts the male spine 0.5 micro MM to the left, thus tilting the pelvic to the right by the same measurements, per year.
The accumulative damages through out the male life span, will result in severe deformation of the human male physic in the course of the next millennia (the actual 3D image that was created for those studies, is too hideous to present, for my taste), while fucking up the human evolution.
Scientists predict that the severe deformation will result in male humans, folded side ways.
This deformation will eventually turn off women, rightfully so, combined with the fact that many males will prefer to attend their business by them selves, now that their new physic allows new ways to attend their business, while avoiding the disgusted looks from every female they encounter.

So for every thing that is holy.....take off those stupid big ass gold watches