REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT

Whew! What a day!
Do I have a sign on me that says, "I love God, am friendly and love to talk and interact with people on lots of different levels?"

First day out in a long long time to chant openly in public. Really didn't know what to expect or even how to act or what to do. All alone feeling and looking silly. Little kartals. Cling cling cling.

After the first cling cling cling. A young man at the Toyota dealer came running out.
"Bells? Bells?" With a big smile.
I laughed, "Recess time."
Jokingly..(but we know not really) he laughed, "Oh, I thought it was time to go home."
The day took off from there. Non-stop. One ecstatic interaction after another.

I had books with me but my goal was not to count how many I sold and how much laksmi I collected. My goal was to remain somehow in the magic space of sankirtan consciousness even though I was just one little old woman with a pair of kartals walking around a parking lot. I kept thinking of Gaurahari Das and the ecstatic prema sankirtan going on in Mayapur.

I was wonderful to make a sound so others could here. The kartals very softly still carry very far in the either. At first I started to cry a little bit, feeling very overwhelmed and not at all in line with anything except the order of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and the blessing of Srila Prabhupada and Gaurhari Das prabhu. I didn't want to get too near anyone in case I might disturb them but after a while I relaxed and felt more at ease chanting. It was like breathing or my herat beating. It was very pleasurable.

I found a bench outside a health clinic and sat and chanted quietly for some time. At first there was no one around but as I chanted so many people started to appear. They were smiling to see me as they passed by. Somehow they knew what I was doing and it made them feel good too. Someone spoke to me as they walked by, "How are you doing?" I said, "Better thank you."

Then there was the woman who needed to go the hospital and was walking all around the parking lot trying to get someone to take here there. She was approaching everyone and begging them, "Please help me." No one would help her. I told her when my car was out of the shop I would take her in about an hour. She thanked me but disappeared. I would have taken her. Nice service. I think the medical center made some arrangement for her.

Waiting at the dealer for them to finish replacing the airbags that were defective on a recall a woman just started talking to me. In about five minutes I knew her whole life story. She worked for the school department. It was as if we'd known each other forever. She took a "Beyond Birth and Death" I didn't ask for money. It wasn't business. It was love.

Link to the text:
https://prabhupadabooks.com/bbd/1

When she was done a man sat down and in ten minutes I knew his life story. How he understood God and his life's trials. He lost his son and how he was able to find forgiveness. A neighbor had hit his son in a car accident. The boy was only thirteen.

When he was gone another woman sat down and again her whole life history. She had a little longer history. This took an hour or so. Remarkable to hear people tell their life struggle. My heart really went out to her.

At the post office crowded with people a woman's voice from behind the counter somewhere called out, "Your hair is beautiful."

My hair? "I raised my arms a little and danced Hare Krishna and called back, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

As I left the post office I made sure to turn back to see if they had kept their attention on me and they had. We smiled appreciation at each other.

At the car dealer a young female worker there passed by with her lunch in a plastic container. I made believe I was interested in her lunch. Just playing. She smiled and said, "I like your pants. They look very comfortable."

I mean there was love everywhere. There were no strangers. I couldn't enter or leave a building without people piping up with something. A greeting or a well-wish.
I did have my beads visible around my neck and my colorful pancha tattva bead bag that I use like a pocket book.

At Walmart the lady at the check out was so forlorn. All the muscles in her face were slack and her eyes were so sad. She had to stand there for hours checking out everyone's purchases and obviously there was something that had made her very unhappy in her personal life. I felt so bad. I had to say to her quietly and close to her leaning over the counter as I took my purchases... "Are you feeling loved today?" Her bottom lip began to quiver. I caught her eyes and smiled with love.

In case we are wondering. God is love. Personified.
So I did huge on sankirtan today. I cleaned up. I came back with riches. Enough to keep building the temple of love of God within my heart.