"Yes I think it’s unfortunate that our community just immediately think stake = leadership."
I definitely agree with that, but it's actually logical, to some extent. I mean, to be truly effective, leaders must master the ability to influence others. Effective leaders don't just command: they inspire, persuade, and encourage. However, we have Steem Power on STEEM, which is literally the same thing as influence. The more SP you have, the more influence you'll have.
It even says so within the wallet:
Influence tokens which give you more control over post payouts and allow you to earn on curation rewards.
Add that to the fact that people are on Steem to earn money and it's easy to see why those with large wallets are the ones who'll be seen as leaders. Good or bad, the majority of the people doesn't really care about that, as long as they are able to earn.
That's also the whole reason for people to chase whale votes. In the past, before HF21, many users earned more from comments than articles, due to upvotes from many of these wealthy accounts. It was easier to get an upvote or two from a whale on a comment you wrote, than to attract more users and build an audience through your own content.