For me, this was a difficult read. In many ways, your story mirrors mine with my father. All families come with some sort of baggage, some more than others. I think you did manage to get some closure with your father on your last visit. This will go miles in your healing for the bumps in the road. I was not as fortunate and did not recieve the closure I sought.
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All families carry baggage, you are absolutely right. It's a shame you didn't get a proper closure for yourself. It sounds like you tried, perhaps, and it didn't work out how you wanted? Either way, at least you tried, and I think that's better than not even making the attempt and forever wondering...what might have been.
I did try but it was not meant to be...