A letter to my neighbour

Image source

                                Enough With Your Bushy Dog and Rotten Sound-proofing
                            
        Dear Peter,

I have always felt sad living near to you. You are the most ugly neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud music.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your dog is too bushy and your sound-proofing way too rotten. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a paint brush

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud music from upsetting me. I demand that you invest in better sound-proofing then sell the dog.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your barking dog increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Little Oakley.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud music on Tumblr.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
inspiredbynature