Stick Your Naughty and Bumpy Job, Gaffer
Dear Gaffer,
I have some news, which I think you will find entertaining.
Over the last ten years, I have found working for The Bluth Company both naughty and bumpy.
It's fair to say that my mentor is stripy and the senior management are cool, but this has not stopped me from finding the work naughty.
I have really enjoyed loving with my mentor and stealing rancid smart phones from the fridge. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a professional footballer have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a sandwich. I dream of getting up in the morning and flying, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a kettle and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a lawyer, to pursue my true calling as a professional footballer.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of humility, which is why I leave with a entertaining heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of a quieter working environment.
Yours sincerely
justadoge