Anyone who knows me (or who may have read my introduction post) will be well aware that my taste in music is truly atrocious. To me, there is nothing quite as enjoyable as rocking out to 90s boyband hits. My embarrassing taste doesn’t stop there, however, as I love cheesy teen dramas too. One of my all-time favourites is The O.C. That show will always have a fond place in my heart because it ran from 2003 to 2007, when I myself was an impressionable, melodramatic teenager. I own boxsets for the first two seasons. Those boxsets don't often see the light of day now, but I took them out last weekend because I wanted to use them as weights for pressing tofu.
The tofu has long since been pressed and eaten, but the DVDs were still sitting on my kitchen counter a couple of nights ago ... and since I was feeling a bit under the weather and in need of a pick-me-up, I thought, what better way to spend my time of convalescence than rewatching the episodes in season 2 when Alex Kelly shows up, so that I can relive the emotional rollercoaster I experienced when I first saw her all those years ago? 😁 At least it gave me something else to focus on, besides being sick and bedbound.
I will never be achingly cool, but I have at least learned how to be confident. 😉 When I first saw Alex on screen though, living an open and unapologetic life as a bisexual person, it set off a firestorm of conflicted emotions within me. It made my heart skip several beats. It made me want to cry. It even made me a bit angry. On some level, I thought: "if I am not allowed to be happy, outspoken and confident, then why is she allowed to be?" I definitely had a bit of the Paddy Manning/Keith Mills mentality going on (this will make sense to any Irish person who watched a certain Late Late Show debate that occurred shortly before our marriage equality referendum in 2015 – the cringe factor was unbelievable).
At that point, I knew I was bisexual, but I had decided that it would be easier to simply ignore every crush I developed on a girl, and to focus exclusively on guys. I had persuaded myself that it would be far better to live out my life convincing myself and others that I was straight – regardless of what that might cost me in terms of my own personal happiness – because I didn't want to deal with the jokes, the derogatory comments, or any other forms of unpleasantness that would be associated with coming out.
Still, a part of me cheered when Seth turned up to the club where Alex worked – ready to launch into a big showdown over the fact that she had dated a girl prior to dating him – and she greeted him with the calm response: "I'm working, so if you've come down here for some big dramatic confrontation, it'll have to wait." I lived vicariously through Alex Kelly in so many ways. As I stated earlier, she was the person I wished I could have been when I was a teenager.
During a time in my life when I was dire need of some positive bisexual representation in the media, Alex Kelly gave me the tiniest glimmer of hope that it might, in fact, be possible to live happily and authentically as a bisexual person, rather than continually cringing and feeling the need to apologise for my very presence. This is why it broke my heart when The O.C.'s creators ended the Marissa-and-Alex storyline in a rushed, botched kind of way, citing conservative pressure to abandon the controversy and push Marissa back into the arms of her ex-boyfriend Ryan. Creator Josh Schwartz said:
I disliked the way in which the creators chose to wrap up Alex's storyline: namely, by transforming her into a paranoid, bitter person in the space of just two episodes. I disliked the fact that her character morphed into someone she had never been in any of the previous episodes, just to give Marissa a more plausible reason to break up with her. I disliked the fact that once Alex had left the series, Marissa's relationship with her was completely brushed under the carpet and never mentioned again.
Still, the fact remains that for one brief, golden period in time, Alex Kelly showed me what it could mean to be a joyous, fulfilled bisexual person who was not willing to take anyone's BS. 😛
I have given this post the title "Positive Bisexual Representation – Part One" because I'm aiming to track down more examples of bisexual characters in film and T.V. who are authentic, well-rounded and engaging role models for every bi person out there who may be struggling to come to terms with who they are. I plan to make a series of posts about these characters, in the hope that it may offer a sense of hope or comfort to someone.
So much agreee... except i was in the closet xcore at that time but still remember it being shady af😬 Im sitting sitting here trying to think of a bisexual tv character and i cant. Other than from the L word. Does that count?
Yes, there were a couple of bi characters in The L Word. 🙂 There were many things I liked about The L Word, but I also had mixed feelings about the show, mainly because of how bi characters were portrayed, and the way other characters would always insult them. Especially when it came to Alice. She started out being so strong and confident about her bi identity, but that strength gradually faded away and it was sad to watch that happen. Later in the series, she ended up telling Dana, "You were right, bisexuality is gross. I can see it now." My heart sank a little when I heard that! This article from AfterEllen does a great job of breaking down the whole issue, I think: http://www.afterellen.com/tv/29823-the-l-word-reinforces-negative-bisexual-stereotypes/
Yeah i might have just internalized my shame so much that I assume I deserve that portrayal. Its weird to say "its hard being bisexual" because just like you described we can pretend that other part of us doesn't exist if we find the "right guy" ..
Yet here i am at 37 yelling #spinsterlife and I'v only really fallen in love with 1 guy. So, clearly, thats not working out. And yes, on the other end I have no clue how to attempt to date women.
Thats right. Ive had feelings for women for a little over 22 years and ive not done more than kiss a woman. :/
Maybe its because of tv? Lol idk. Although i did love alice A LOT but i think i blanked out that comment.
That does sound difficult. I hope you do find love when the time is right, whether it's a man, woman or a non-binary person. Love is love, whoever the person is! I loved Alice too – it was a shame when the writers made a mess of her character development. 😔
Agreed!! I am rememberimg now how she necame a mess. Bit feel like they dod it with everyone.. like everyone was a mess at some point lol.. its real tho?? Idk
Oh God yes, everyone turned into a mess. Especially Jenny! I hope the revival reveals, once and for all, who killed her in the end... that was such a shocking finale. 😱
Srsly!
Thanks for sharing this lgbt subjects! :)
Oh this is such good thing to read, thank you for talking about this and for sharing your feelings about this topic!
Thanks @vegan.niinja. I'm vegan too! 😃 I hope to do a post about veganism soon.
Oh thats exciting! Looking forward to that post!
I am happy that you were able to find someone on TV that you could identify with that made you realize it was okay to be who you were and not what others expected. I do look forward to see who else you come up with in this sure to be popular series.
Thanks, @randomwanderings. I'm hoping to track down a good, diverse selection of characters, so hopefully anyone who comes across the posts will enjoy them. 😃
This is a great post. I've never watched much television, so I never saw The O.C., but I definitely know that struggle of looking for any scrap of validation for yourself in media, and being failed by a world that doesn't know how to treat LGBTQ+ people like...well, like people. Those characters often fail us, but we can still sometimes look back at them and recognize the hope they gave us at a time when we needed them. <3 Thanks for sharing, and I'll look forward to your next post!
That is very true. I think LGBT+ representation has improved since The O.C. was on screens, but there is still work to be done, for sure. ❤️
Olivia Wilde! One of my teenage crushes, Hayden Panettiere was my first.
Oh yes, I think every queer girl of the Noughties had a crush on Olivia Wilde. 😂
Confidence IS achingly cool! Own it :)
Thank you 😊