yay or nay?
I've dated a bunch of girls before whom I've met in clubs. It was only logical since I partied a lot.
That earned me the usual diatribe from friends, "Alden, stop dating girls you meet from clubs! You can never be in a serious relationship with them!"
Why?
Because typically, girls from clubs can't be taken seriously as they are supposedly always drunk, talking to other dudes and just plain leading an unhealthy lifestyle.
These are legit qualms, but I dare say that there're tons of advantages in meeting girls in clubs.
Check it out.
1) You can see what they look like in person and not worry about being catfished
Sounds obvious enough, but yes, approach a girl in a club and you get to see what she looks like in person.
When she's in front of you, she ain't lying to you.
Know who lies? Catfish. What's a catfish?
"A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances."
-Urban Dictionary
Modern dating today, through your various apps like Tinder rely on first impression via pictures on your profile.
And it's totally not fucking cool when you meet up with someone and realize they absolutely do not look like their pictures at all.
I've been a victim. I was absolutely flabbergasted. It was a major deception. Imagine putting in the work and effort to get to know them online, only to realize they are someone else altogether. You can call me a shallow fuck at this point, but whatever, looks are important to me and my taste is my own. If you think you can overlook the looks of someone and innately deny that their (unpleasant) looks don't bother you, more power to you then.
So yeah, meet a girl in a club and boom, you get what you see. There will be no way for her to deceive you and take you for a ride.
2) You get to see if she can handle her alcohol well
Straight up, meet a girl in a club, discover that she can't drink for shit, gets drunk easily and starts to behave inappropriately, to which then you can access her character yourself and probably avoid anything serious with her.
Meet a girl outside of a club, build an emotional connection with her and then discover one day that she can't drink for shit. She misbehaves when drunk too. This both worries and upsets you. And you feel like you can't break away because you're already into her! Heck man, imagine if she suddenly develops an affinity to partying and drinking more regularly because she has never done it before in her life.
Which of the above situations is more inviting?
3) You get to preview of how she handles herself in front of other dudes while intoxicated
I am just going to say it: No matter how loyal or faithful your partner is to you, everybody, and I do mean everybody, has thoughts of how green the the grass is on the other side.
That means to say, they like to check out what's a life of being single is like again.
They'd then talk to other people, or perhaps flirt a little too. This can be done both in front of behind their partner's back.
It could be talking to someone else.
It could be meeting someone else.
It could be an arguably harmless text or two.
It could be their straying thoughts which you can never read.
In a club, you get to see how all of this play out in the way she behaves in a club and whether she takes it to a level of inappropriateness, especially when she's intoxicated; when her inhibitions are released.
I have seen it all before. Girls who flirt with other dudes, take too-close-for-comfort selfies with them, give 'harmless' kisses, exchange numbers with other guys or whatever, all under the guise of how "my boyfriend does not need to know since it's harmless."
This of course, are factors that are up to the individual to judge to whether it's harmless or not.
But yo, this is where you have to follow your gut and judge for yourself. I'd personally rather meet a girl in a club and watch how she behaves in front of other guys, drunk or not than meet a girl outside and then wonder if she's another person in a club, drunk or not.
In short, I think meeting a girl in a club gives a preview of her inner child. It's better to have a glimpse early on than build an emotional connection first and then let the fallout shock you to no end.
4) You get to meet a girl who's totally cool, classy, sophisticated and non-judgmental
Girls, or guys who don't party who always ready to say girls who club are nothing but slutty bimbos who get drunk and sleep around.
What do you think then, girls who club are saying about the girls outside?
I can assure you, they're not wasting time talking about the girls outside. They're too busy having their fun and not giving a fuck.
Yes, there're girls are in clubs who are promiscuous and can't handle their alcohol well, but not all of them are like that.
In a club or a bar, you talk to them and create conversations. You get to know them proper. At least for me, I do that. I am attracted to a girl who can handle her drink well and open to actually opening up to me. This is way more interesting to me than a boring person who's just bitching about other people while outside.
It sounds judgmental of me, but it's baseline to me of one's character. Linking this to the previous point, at least I know for sure there're less lies.
5) You get to speed this shit up
Talk to a girl in a club. Get drunk together. Hold her hand. Take a selfie with her. Dance with her. Make out with her. Hook up with her. Whatever! If it floats both consenting parties' boats, go for it.
Meet a girl outside a club. You need to take her out to dinner and then a few more. You gotta text her everyday. You gotta get to know her slowly. You got to follow her to meet her friends (ugh.) Whatever! If this floats your boat, by all means, go for it too!
But for me? I prefer the fast game. It's super thrilling, fun and downright exciting to get intellectually, physically and even close to a girl, even in one single night.
At this point you may be thinking, "But Alden, you're setting yourself up for failure! Meeting such a promiscuous girl and getting so close so quickly?! You can't trust such a person!"
Granted, that is a legit concern. But it's my preference.
I will not argue with you on how you feel towards such girls, but heed my warning: Just because you meet a girl outside of a club doesn't mean that she's some perfect angel sent from heaven. You're not a mind reader or a psychic. I am sure you've met guys who seem to be obsessed (mind you, not in love) with girls and they tend to wait a long time for her, only to eventually see her go off with another dude.
Who then, arguably, is the real winner? Which girl then, led the poor dude along?
If a toxic girl is destined to betray you and fuck up your life, she will eventually, regardless of where you met her.
As mentioned throughout the article, I personally would prefer to follow my gut in a club to create a perception of a girl rather than of one outside. These are red flags I can spot easily in a club.
So again, to each his own. I tend to be impatient so speed works better for me.
Besides, life is short right?
Maybe start opening your circle a little. Just go get drunk once in a while.
I totally agree with you. My actual girlfriend it`s the one I met in the club ! Like you said, I could see her behaviour in front of other dudes/girl while drunk , I could met the real she. Good post man, good post.
Folllowed you. Hope to see more stuff like that soon :)
the picture is so much romantic and the blog is so informative
When you meet a girl in the club, the sex part comes faster
You a girl-freak😁😁
No serious relationship with someone you meet in a club,just hit it and run
I think it is not advisable to meet a girl in a club and start a serious relationship because she is used to many guys and you can't easily convince her to leave all of them and to stick on you alone. Secondly,most of them look for money. As long as you have money, they are there, but when you run out of money, they disappear. That's why I can't advise any one to do that.
That's my view
@suerisue what do you think?
Oh yes, drunk people tell the truth.
Nice.
2 & 3. Excellent points.
5.... Almost got me a little jealous there. Lol.
Looking good online? Shady as hell...
Haha. True dat.
Man you are totally right it cannot be a healthy being relation with it