Not being too kind doesn’t mean being a bitch. It simply means you don’t give yourself less priority than that you give to others. You know when to say no and you express yourself openly. Being authentic in our positive and negative feelings is way more critical to our emotional stability than keep being kind no matter what we feel.It is very legitimate and healthy. Actually, being too kind to others is one of the causes of anxiety.
Haven’t you watched Eckhart Tolle speaking about pain body. It is on youtube I belive it holds great wisdom on how to deal with pain. Wish you the best. 🙂