Hello Steemians.Hope all of you are having a wondeful time.Let's try to talk about something that just popped up in my mind out of nowhere.Thanks to my dear friend who gave me an important lesson in life with her strong decision.
"I LEARNED THAT COURAGE WAS NOT THE ABSENCE OF FEAR, BUT THE TRUIMPH OVER IT.THE BRAVE MAN IS NOT THE ONE WHO DOES NOT FEEL AFRAID,BUT HE WHO CONQUERS THAT FEAR."---Nelson Mandela
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I never knew I would actually understand the meaning of this beautiful quotation because I never believed I could overcome my fears.But yes,I have finally decided that I am more important than my fears.I am not going to lose my self respect and dignity for anyone in the world.If I want to be happy,I have to love myself.No one else can love me more than myself.It is not easy to take decisions when it comes to the most important things in life.It is always difficult because if something is bothering you,means it is important to you.But we all need to understand that just because it is important doesn't mean you have to lose eveything for it.Sometimes,we have better things but we just try to ignore them because we are just so much obsesed with the fear of losing the thing that we don't want anything else for the exchange even if it is better.
HOW DO WE OVERCOME OUR FEARS?
Let's hear a real story.
I have a friend.She was in a relation for 5 years with a guy.There was never any peace between them ,just lots of fights and arguments.She loved him very much and he also loved her.But their ways were totally different.They were good for everyone except each other.They would have arguments every now and then.And after each argument,she would share her feelings with me.She said she was so afraid to lose him and that she would die if she had to live without him.I used to console her each time saying," All will be fine.You just need to try a bit more.He will understand some day.It is a long relation.You should not give up on it so easily."
Three months back from now,I received a message at around 10 at night.It was from my same friend.She told me that she doesn't want it with him anymore.She said she felt no happiness with him and she doesn't want to hurt herself anymore being in a relationship where there is no emotional connection.I was so much surprised because I knew her voice this time was not the usual type.There was a strong determination in her voice.I asked what he had done that hurt her so bad that she didn't want it anymore?
She told me that he said that everything that they had between them was with mutual consent.He had not raped her.It was a relation that both of them had agreed for.That she was not a lifeless toy that he had been playing with and fondling without her interest.That she was also interested so they had it.And at last he also added that he doesn't need any emotional drama and crying from her.He was afraid that she would create a drama.He had no fearof losing his relationship.Even to this extent,he wanted himself to be comfortable and nothing else.
I could not say anything.I could not tell her to try one more time to make it better.I told her that it is high time she got out of the relation otherwise she will ruin her present and future.She said it was a relation so long and its difficult to give up.I was just so much surprised.If a man after 5 years of relationship tells that it was with mutual consent,how sure is it that he will not say it even after they are married?Of course,they will be marrying by consent.Of course,they are not going to force each other with gun on the temporal region.So if doing things with consent means giving a license to people for breaking the trust and heart so easily,why the hell would you want to be played with?
I am so happy that she broke up with the guy and is now happily living on her own.So she didn't die without him.She is much happier and content with her life.Everyone can take a wrong decision in life but it is not necessary to live your mistake all your life.
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We are always afraid to make changes.But believe me,you should.When you are trying so hard to make things work and it is failing all the time ,it might sometimes mean that you need to try once to stop trying for it.Sometimes,stopping might be a better option than trying the same thing again and again and failing at it.In the case of my friend,trying to end the relation worked better than sticking to the sickening relation.
HOW TO CONSOLE YOURSELF AT TIMES OF ADVERSITY?
We should always know our worth.If something no longer serves you or makes you happy,you should not fear to let it go.You were born alone and you are going to die alone.If as an infant,you made it to the world alone when you could not even understand anything or speak or walk,why can't you now?You are much bigger now.You have gained experiences and learnt so many things.If you exist in the world means you are capable of handling everything that comes your way.So many creatures have got extinct and have died.Even creatures as big as dinasours have become extinct but you still exist means you are worth existing.Survival of the fittest was applied to you as well and you made through it because you were fit for survival.Just because you are not getting eveything you dreamed of doesn't mean your dreams were false.You might just be investing for your dreams in the wrong place.Someday you will find the best place to invest that will give you the best benfits and help you realise your dreams can come true .So never feel low and cherish each moment in life.You are not going to get this life again.So go out and spread love and smiles.Work on yourself for yourself.
Be grateful for things that give you a positive experience and take the negative experiences as a lesson in your life.You never lose until you give up.
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