I feel deeply sad for the rare condition that you are going thru. It also makes me realised of myself and other who are having a healthy lifestyle and yet not grateful of the give of God. I will keep you in my daily prayers even though it would not be much help. Do keep yourself busy do not give up and have faith and trust your higher power, the God of your own understanding. There must be a reason behind everything that is happening in your life. Thank you for having the courage and strength even at your difficult moment. Live life one day at a time.
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Yes @anbannathan people should realize that they are just so lucky having a healthy body. It is what I am telling people and they really have to be grateful because living like in my case for most people is unacceptable enough to claim their own lives and not fight.
It is just I value my life too, my existence because there is no restart button in this world, only a fresh install in a new system where there will be no more tears, heat, and suffering.
But I just want to rest now, I am already overdue and tired.