It's sad most of our parents paint pictures of themselves as being angels right from their childhoods. It's sad they deny children stories of the bumps and potholes they'd really faced overcoming some of the obstacles those kids eventually fall a victim to. Sometimes I stop to wonder who the promiscuous and loose kids and scoundrels of yesterday were when most of our folks claim they lived perfect.
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Children don't need perfect parents trying to drill them - with lies and chains - perfection into their imperfect souls; kids don't need no angel! Kids need imperfect folks who understand those obstacles they are facing. They need parents who are ready and willing to help them overcome those obstacles with guidance and counselling from similar experiences they'd faced, yes, 'cause they too were there at some point in their lives!
"We" like this, that are doing anyhow today, shea we'd play and act perfect tomorrow when we also have kids? Perverts, liars, thieves, drug addicts, smokers, porn addicts, masturbators, drug dealers, sexual caregivers, cyber whores...whatever we are today, our kids deserve, and are entitled to learning from our bank of experiences. You never can tell how wealthy they'd get wisdom-wise from learning from our shortcomings.
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Don't shy away from telling your kids stories of how bad our grades got at some point from unseriousness, how hard it was dealing with sexual perversion. It'd be okay to hear and laugh at the nonsenses they catch themselves doing 'cause I myself was there. Why lie to gullible kids I could help grow into a toughness that'd come with baring my experiences and helping them avoid such?
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Why shout them down when I know how hard desires of any kind are? Few things hurt children like realizing at some point the very folks shaming and going all-tough on them were once - and may still be - not different from them. There's also this deep hurt from being in light of the fact these 'perfect' parents of ours don't even listen to their children but take sides with outsiders in the event of problems and conflicts arising. Whatever happened to trusting and hearing kids out! So much for being an African child!
No child is a devil, just like no parent is an angel. I'd try my best to give my children as much freedom as they deserve, I'd give them wheels to explore the world on.
***Holding them captive just makes them so eager at small chances of freedom and you know what being too eager can do to a person right? ***
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Sure an advice here or there is important, but so is allowing them learn from experiences. Too much imprisonment at home is why we have lots of adults by age yet children by reasoning. Decent freedom makes adults from even kids. Allow those kids party. Allow them mingle with kids their age. They deserve they grow through those stages with their peers until they can laugh about their stupidity!
Parenting in Africa is nearly a lost cause today, but we prospective parents of tomorrow could decide to change with - just a little more sincerity - this course. Give kids freedom whilst being there for them when they bump into an obstacle; kids learn better how to rise after they'd fallen. This conspiracy amongst folks by lying themselves to perfection doesn't necessarily have to spill into our tomorrow, does it? For humanity's sake, WTF made lying to kids a good way of teaching virtues over bitter truths they could as well relate?
...in conclusion, parents always have to put themselves in their kids shoes -- a little feel of how their kids feel
Great job piecing this together -- getting set for parenting i presume @annieben
Thanks for sharing this. Children too deserve freedom, some children are not even free with their parents due to fear.
There are the two most important jobs in the World; being a Parent and running a Country, yet neither requires a certificate, University degree or license.
Hello! I find your post valuable for the wafrica community! Thanks for the great post! @wafrica is now following you! ALWAYs follow @wafrica and use the wafrica tag!
I really do believe that parents must be sincere with their kids,..... Thanks for the message